If thine balls offend the state....

In more posts than I can count, I've complained about the mandatory spay and neuter movement, which is built around the idea that whether your dog has testicles is the government's business.

Well now, via TigerHawk, I see that the busybody bureaucrats who can't stand balls on animals have ratcheted up their campaign, and they want to criminalize truck testicles! No, really:

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.

Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.

Naturally, I had to check out the products, which are sold here, and look like this:

blueballs.jpg

I arbitrarily selected the blue balls, and I do not want any insinuations made, OK?

They come in colors, of course, and there are red and white ones to go with the blue ones, as well as green ones which would look great hanging from priapic Priuses.

What worried me the most was to see that the truck neutering ordinance was sponsored by a Republican. Might that mean that the war on sex (recently gathering steam among gay crackpots) is about to hook up with the animal neutering movement?

I hope not. (Otherwise, I might have to alter my earlier view that "Gonad Nazis" might be too strong a term for these nut-grabbers.)

In any case, I think that under established constitutional law principles, this law must fail. Not only because there's still a right to freedom of expression, but because there is a less restrictive alternative.

An ordinary vasectomy.

stitchballs.jpg

You know, a stitch in time?

posted by Eric on 04.28.08 at 12:50 PM





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Comments

I agree that these shouldn't be against the law, but I have to say, I find these things unbelievably tacky and tasteless. I literally abhor them. I would personally castrate the lot of 'em if it didn't involve destruction of personal property. I just have to keep reminding myself that they're just a meager substitute for those who haven't got the real thing.

John S.   ·  April 28, 2008 02:44 PM

Put a red dot on each one and they would make some nice titz.

M. Simon   ·  April 28, 2008 03:07 PM

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