there's no way to opt out of the in-your-face cycle
I know I am sounding like a crank, but I hate it when I am asked by strangers to donate money. Not that I am uncharitable, but I prefer to select causes myself, and donate to them whenever I feel like it.
I don't mind being told about worthy causes, nor do I mind it when someone I know or respect says that he or she donated to a worthy cause, and generally urges other people to do the same. In fact, I have done that in this blog on a number of occasions. What I would not do is ask someone personally to donate money -- either by getting in his face or by directly sending him an email. It's putting people on the spot, and I find that distasteful.
But what is happening more and more is that I will go to the store to buy something, and the damned clerk will ask me whether I would like to donate to starving children or abused animals or something. This then forces me to choose to be one of the following:
an intimidated milquetoast who says "yes" because he cannot stand up to people and who will have to hold in the resentment over having been steamrollered by a manipulative form of public shaming;
a mean-spirited Scrooge who supports world hunger, wants children to starve, enjoys animal suffering, and is probably a conservative racist bigot.
I think it's rude for stores to ask people to give money simply because they've got them in a position they are unable to avoid. One solution to the problem in many grocery stores is to use the self-checkout lanes. Except then you can end up getting scolded for bagging your items too quickly and the machine freezes up and you have to yell for the clerk. Or there is no regular asparagus in their list of pictures, but only the higher-priced organic, so you have to yell about that too. Or when the machine refuses to scan that bottle of wine until you show your ID to the clerk who is not there even though you have gray hair and look over 50.
In the latter regard, quite amazingly, I have in recent months been actually asked to show my ID to buy wine. By clerks who could plainly see me! Excuse me, but take a look at a recent picture -- showing me and M. Simon:
What sort of cretin would think that I might be under 21? Or according to recent guidelines, under 27?
Are we reaching a state of zero tolerance for common sense?
Where was I? Oh, the self-checkout. So after all of that, you can still end up being asked for more money, and they force you to click "NO" on the keypad.
And what do you do when you're tired of being asked in person, tired of having to click "NO"? Earlier I bought an item on Ebay, and learned that some of these damned charities have even managed to insinuate themselves into the automatic checkout there.
Yes, call me a mean-spirited crank, but I just don't like it. To my mind, I've gone out of my way to spend my money with you. So how dare you ask me for more?
Another thing I hate about charities is the way that donating to them tends to generate huge quantities of junk mail solicitations, not only from that charity, but from others. They have so many guilt-inducement techniques in the junk mail that I think they were designed by professional psychologists. Many times I have seen an uncanceled stamp staring at me in the window. Others will put in a quarter (making it impossible to shred), and then when you tear it open there'll be a heart-rending plea that you at least send the quarter back! They also will do this with a dollar bill, knowing full well that it is next to impossible for sane people to throw away or shred currency.
And if you think that sending in a donation will make them go away, think again. Any contribution you do send in will place you in a new category, meriting special attention.
All of this notwithstanding, I still believe in donating to charity.
My worry is that the techniques of getting in people's faces might backfire and actually have the unintended consequence of desensitizing people (especially in this economy). Which could predictably lead to ever more fiendish cycles of in-your-face tactics.
posted by Eric on 01.03.10 at 11:37 AM
Comments
I agree, I agree, I agree! I am sick of it and I do think it will have an effect on giving in general. Recently right outside a Starbucks I was accosted with an attempt to make me feel guilty. I went to the Starbucks manager and complained that I would take my business elsewhere if they weren't ejected. I haven't seen them since.
"There's no way to opt out of the in-your-face cycle"
Too true!
And do EYE, have JUST the right "helmet" for you!
Anonymous · January 3, 2010 9:04 PM
I do donate to charities that I feel are appropriate, and have checked out to make sure that their overhead expenses are in line with their budget.
But, the big problem I have with the donations solicited by businesses is that THEY are the ones that will get the charitable donation deduction, not me. That's not right.
As for the checkout-lane beggars, it might behoove you to them that as a good liberal, you prefer to vote for them to give more, and favor raising their taxes accordingly.
Of course, you're (obviously!) not a liberal, and abhor most all taxes, but that's a minor detail.
The major point is that you well might get one or two of 'em to think twice about their liberal orthodoxy?
Eric, I recommend a helpful book called Boundaries. You can either take the advice contained in it, or you can put it into a pillow case and swing it at the head of anyone who asks you for money.
More seriously, I tell telephone solicitors that my wife and I "do our giving through other agencies."
More seriously still, the older I get (crowding 60), the more I realize that I owe most strangers nothing more than a clear answer to their requests--no explanation required.
notaclue · January 4, 2010 11:29 AM
Thank you for bringing this up. I have been complaining about it at my local Safeway for a couple of years. There is no auto checkout there as it is a small store in a small town. My understanding is that the clerks are actually forced to do this under penalty of firing. Rumor has it that one clerk was actually fired for refusing to ask for money.
Your points are all well taken and I have delivered many of them myself in a normal tone of voice to the clerks. Only one treated me like a piker.
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Don?t bang your head!
I agree, I agree, I agree! I am sick of it and I do think it will have an effect on giving in general. Recently right outside a Starbucks I was accosted with an attempt to make me feel guilty. I went to the Starbucks manager and complained that I would take my business elsewhere if they weren't ejected. I haven't seen them since.