Equal holes for all?

The so-called "potty parity" movement is something I've had fun ridiculing in the past, but never took seriously. However, laughing at politically correct nonsense does not make it go away, because I've learned that over time, ridiculous things tend to become deadly serious.

Via an email from a friend, I've learned that his time, "potty parity" has emerged as a national inaugural issue:

A George Washington University law professor says the 5,000 port-o-potties planned for Inauguration Day will be "grossly inadequate."

Professor John Banzhaf, the so-called "Father of Potty Parity" sent a letter to the Presidential Inaugural Committee warning of potential lawsuits.

He says women, who take longer in the restroom, could be forced to wait in longer lines than men, and that amounts to discrimination.

Banzhaf says waiting in long lines is not just an inconvenience. It can trigger medical problems. He's asking the Presidential Inaugural Committee to make the toilets gender-neutral so that women do not have to wait longer than men.

If women taking longer amounts to "discrimination," then men are "discriminating" every time they urinate standing up! This means that not only are urinals discriminatory by their very nature, but men should be forced to sit on toilets just like women. Either that or make everyone stand to do everything, by means of a hole in the floor the way they do in much of Asia.

Unfortunately, I can't find any statement anywhere from Barack Obama addressing the "potty parity" issue.

Does he believe in equal, non-discriminatory holes?

Will anyone in our fearless media ask?

posted by Eric on 01.14.09 at 10:55 AM


One reason for separate men's and women's facilities is women's perception that men leave the facility less hygenic than they found it. (Don't know where they got that idea.) Since Porta-Potties are not that great anyway in terms of cleanliness and odor, making them all gender-neutral solves the problem easily without offending anyone's sensibilities any more than the Porta-Potty already offends them.

notaclue   ·  January 14, 2009 11:36 AM

1. There are never enough port o potties.

2. Aren't they all gender neutral. I have never seen port o potties at outdoor events designated male or female. It is always first come-stand in line.

ctb   ·  January 14, 2009 11:37 AM

I've read that in Germany, some places (and some peoples' homes) require men to sit to use the bathroom. My response to that is, "Sitzpinklen? Nie! Ich bin keine Frau!"

John S.   ·  January 14, 2009 12:31 PM

The only reason you think it's funny is because you've never stood in line for 25 minutes listening to women scream at their potty-shy toddlers while the guy you're at the show with whizzes in and out of the mens' room in under five.

It's not funny.

It doesn't rise to the level of federal legal intervention--quilt shows manage to turn convention center men's rooms into temporary ladies' rooms without the insistance of Congress--but it's not funny.

Heather   ·  January 14, 2009 3:42 PM

These are PORTA POTTIES -- not men's rooms and women's room.

Since all porta potties are single-holers, only a moron would designate them "bouys" and "gulls" (or whatever cutsie lable you want for men and women). So where is the gender discrimination? (Or are Democrats morons?)

Mark L   ·  January 14, 2009 4:08 PM

At fairs and such around here, there are multiple-holed porta-potty trailers, one for men and one for women. So maybe they're not single-holers.

No matter how they are designated, there won't be enough of them.

Donna B.   ·  January 14, 2009 5:43 PM

Obama....Redistributing our pee and poo!

Let's see just how well his new staff deals with this?

Bloggers...you are on standby. New York Times...Make it work!

Penny   ·  January 15, 2009 4:04 AM

Penny   ·  January 15, 2009 4:07 AM

This is a test.

Next test in 12 hours.

Penny   ·  January 15, 2009 4:09 AM

It doesn't matter if there are only men going to the Inauguration: 5,000 loos for 1-2 million potential folks is a disaster.

At least it will cold enough that it won't smell so bad.

Mr. Bingley   ·  January 15, 2009 7:45 AM

When there's a line behind you, don't waste time on non-essentials such as combing one's hair.

It's an ancient, but never outdated, social tool called consideration. No law required.

Brett   ·  January 15, 2009 8:34 AM

Split the difference and say 1.5 million people. Guess that everybody needs to go twice in 8 hours. Then each visit has to spend 75 seconds or less: men, women or diaper changes.
I don't even want to think about how long the lines will really be--long enough for people to start using trees is my guess. Pity the cleanup crew the next day, armed with pooper scoopers and clothespins on their noses.
Having public building toilets available helps a little, but the number available is limited to the perimeter of the crowd area: a few dozen buildings with a few dozen toilets each? You could try to break up the crowds into lots of video venues around the city--that'd be easier to provide services for.

James   ·  January 15, 2009 3:41 PM

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