Making Christianity work -- in the angry arab street

Frank J. Fleming has an interesting (if somewhat controversial) idea for solving the problems in the Mideast: simply convert the Muslims to Christianity. After all, Christianity is a more peaceful religion, and as Frank points out, when was the last time anyone saw a Christian suicide bomber?

...I think if we could convert many in the Middle East to Christianity, we would have a lot fewer problems with the region. First off, I don't know of any Middle East Christians who have tried to blow us up. So if we can convert people over there, we could be removing enemies from the battlefield without violence.

Plus, it would help America and that region to better understand each other. If I may speak an uncomfortable truth, the fact that everyone is so Muslim in the Middle East kind of unnerves most Americans. We don't really know what's up with that. We're told "Islam means peace" and we want to believe that, but most Americans don't really know if that's true, even though many Muslims live by that tenet.

But there are also a lot of Muslims who think blowing people up is the best way to express their religious devotion, and not many of us have really read the Koran and the supporting hadiths to come down on one side or the other in that debate. There are still debates in Christianity I'm trying to figure out. Who has time to learn an entirely different religion? But if the people in the Middle East were saying, "We're blowing you up for Jesus," we actually know pretty well where to point to in the Bible to show them that's wrong. If they're instead like, "We're shooting you because you're meddlesome," that still doesn't change much, but one thing at a time.

So I think it's pretty inarguable that if there were at least more Christians in the Middle East, things would be easier for us here in America. The problem, then, remains whether merely mentioning Jesus is going to cause nothing but bloodshed over there....

Frank has a good point about the double standard where it comes to religious proselytizing. Muslims are free to send their missionaries over here to convert us, but we are not allowed to do the same thing.

As Frank admits, there are some problems with his idea. The biggest one I see right now is that not only is Barack Obama the president, but the U.S. government is not supposed to favor one form of religion over another. However, that's a mere constitutional question, and since when has the Obama administration (or Congress) respected the Constitution?

Anyway, I'm a practical person, so in the interest of building a better world, I'd like to offer a few suggestions to help grease the skids.

If it becomes official policy to encourage the conversion of Muslims to Christianity under the presidency of Barack Obama, a question will inevitably arise....

"Who will do the converting?"

There are many different Christian denominations, as well as pastors, so which one or ones should get the official government contracts to actually wade in with Bibles, tracts, and sermons? I'm thinking that maybe the most likely candidate to head Obama's Christian outreach initiative ought be the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Which is a no-brainer, really. Not only does Wright hate the Joooos, but "GOD DAMN AMERICA!" would be an easy sell in the angry Arab street, which means we would be sponsoring a Christian-based death-to-America and death-to-the-West cult. Not only could angry Muslims relate to that, but so would the angry left! Naturally, this would lead to peace, brotherhood and a better world.

Of course, other faiths might demand the right to send their missionaries too. So, we could easily sponsor Buddhist outreach, Hindu outreach, Wiccan outreach, etc. Even Voodoo priests. The details can be worked out.

Except, at the risk of sounding like an anti-religious bigot, I'd like to keep the Scientologists out, OK? It may sound condescending, but I just don't think the Muslims are ready to process the idea of Xenu and the Galactic Confederacy, and we don't want them thinking that the rest of us are a bunch of Thetans out to conquer them. Like that Great Thetan George W. Bush! Or Hillary, with her ties to THE TAN family! I'm all for hope and change, but I don't think we should get too carried away.

Gee, I almost forgot the Satanists.

Why does the devil always have to be in the details?

posted by Eric on 01.26.10 at 11:22 AM





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Comments

I think pornography is an easier sell. And the government doesn't have to favor one form over another. Just roll out the internet and cell phone connections.

Defeated By Pornography
Jewish Porn Sweeps The Arab World

M. Simon   ·  January 26, 2010 11:57 AM

But as your links make clear, the Jews are behind pornography! Which means they'll get us coming or going.

Eric Scheie   ·  January 26, 2010 12:15 PM

I'm not sure the conversion route would have the desired effect... after all, there are a number of Christian Palestinians, and although they're not generally given to suicide bombing, they almost universally look the other way. As a matter of fact, when a Christian magazine to which I subscribe wrote an article critical of the protective walls Israel is building to defend against Palestinian terror attacks and describing how they make things difficult for Palestinian Christians, I considered writing in to inform them that just because someone is Christian doesn't mean he's a good guy. If the Palestinian Christians want my sympathy or support, they will have to stand up against terrorism, even terrorism against Israel. So, in other words, I doubt that conversion would solve the problem completely.

John S.   ·  January 26, 2010 05:06 PM

I'm pretty sure the LDS is already on the job. They just need to switch to the living instead of the dead. Check the Book, you may already be Mormon. No waiting, no asking.

dr kill   ·  January 26, 2010 07:09 PM

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