"Heavage" and the urge to heave

Maybe I'm too traditional, but men's plunging necklines (exhibited in order to display what the fashionists call "heavage") is something I can do without.

Man cleavage -- plunging necklines slit open to reveal chest hair, pectoral muscles, maybe more -- is back.

Until recently, male décolletage was an androgynous fashion affectation limited mainly to sporadic appearances on European runways. But the look, including deep V-necks and scoop-neck tops, hit the U.S. in full force at New York's September Fashion Week, turning up at shows by Duckie Brown, Michael Bastian and Yigal Azrouel.

They're bringing back a 1970s look once popularized by John Travolta (who probably wouldn't look as good that way now), and cosmetic surgeons are trying to cash in on the craze:
The last time man cleavage was so prevalent in the U.S. was in the 1970s -- "the golden age of male chest hair," says Mr. Bryan. Epitomized by John Travolta in 1977's "Saturday Night Fever," the convention back then was to skip enough shirt buttons to show off a thick forest of hair, perhaps topped with a gold medallion as a sign of virility.

After decades in the fashion equivalent of Siberia, man cleavage got a boost in the early 1990s when Tom Ford, then head designer and creative director for Gucci, climbed to the top of fashion's ranks while often wearing a dress shirt unbuttoned practically to his navel.

It still took years for the fad to go more mainstream. Helping to pave the way were magazines like Men's Journal and Men's Health, which objectified the male torso on their covers. Marketers such as Abercrombie & Fitch attracted droves of fans with their buff, waxed male models. For those who don't have the goods naturally, cosmetic surgery offers an increasingly popular solution. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reports that pectoral implants more than tripled in 2008, to 1,335 procedures up from 440 in 2007.

Boob jobs for male boobs? I'm not impressed by any of it.

Then there's the chest hair issue:

The latest resurrection of man cleavage does raise a not-so insignificant issue: to wax or not? For a number of years, any male chest hair was considered a fashion don't, but very recently a thin thatch has become quite acceptable. The low-cut look "is better if you have a little chest hair," says Tyler Thoreson, a New York-based men's style consultant. "It's not about showing off chest hair, it's about it peeking out a little bit."

Robert Caponi, a 32-year-old musician in Greensboro, N.C., isn't taking any chances. In order to get the hair-to-skin ratio just right, he shaves his chest every two weeks or so -- a regimen that helps him to feel comfortable in one of the six deep V-neck shirts he owns. Not all styles fit the bill. After purchasing a wide scoop neck recently, he declared it simply too revealing. "I looked in the mirror and I was disgusted," he says.

Some women share the sentiment. Posting on her blog earlier this year, Ketty Colom, a 22-year-old college student in Orlando, Fla., vented about the burst of men sporting heavage. "Leave it to the bedroom," she said. "I don't want to see your chest."

While I won't discount the possibility that there are some men who might look OK showing chest hair, the fact is that there are many more who don't.

Here's an example of someone I wouldn't want to see sporting the new look.

KSMheavage.jpg

Not when I'm eating lunch, at least. His heavage makes me want to heave.

Still, no matter how ugly it is, if people want to show off their chest hair at the beach or at a nightclub or in the streets I don't care as I can avert my eyes. And I wouldn't care if I didn't know that things like this tend to spread to offices, beginning with the clueless clods who don't know how to dress on casual Fridays. There's an old-fashioned invention that once prevented civilized people from having to view the hirsutism of other civilized people, and that's a necktie.

Yes, I know that they're condemned as un-Islamic, and that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad won't wear them. All the more reason to buy one of these:

anti_ahmadinejad_tie.jpg

What's next? Hairy legs at the office?

hairylegs2.jpg

OK, now I'm heaving.

MORE: Glenn Reynolds comments on the heavage phenomenon, by saying, simply "THE '70S REALLY ARE BACK."

Ugh. I hated the 70s, and I hope they are not... back. Especially because THE BACKS REALLY ARE 70's.

Hairy_back.jpg

Of course, I'm probably just being paranoid, you know, and seeing unwanted subtexts everywhere.

posted by Eric on 12.04.09 at 03:13 PM





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Comments

"OK, now I'm heaving"

I hear Daisy Dukes are the hot trend for hirsute studly types. :)

Though in all fairness you have to admit the 70's pornstar issue black socks are pretty hot. :P

guy   ·  December 4, 2009 06:03 PM

Burt Reynolds would have kicked your butt if you'd called it "heavage".

The guys in Queens and New Jersey will be happy to know they're back in style.

Now if we could just get polyester leisure suits and gold chains to come back too, they'd be all set.

Veeshir   ·  December 4, 2009 06:17 PM

That picture of zombie Belushi proves that back hair keeps growing in undeath.

guy (no relation) on internet   ·  December 4, 2009 10:48 PM

The guy in the last picture looks like he might have mange.

Donna B.   ·  December 5, 2009 07:44 PM

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