From Dr. Helen, a fascinating observation about lock picking:

...picking locks is not much different than picking minds, that is, you have to be patient, never force change if not necessary, don't use the wrong method of entry and do not give up too easily.

You also don't want to break a lock, or a brain. If you drill into a lock, you ruin it. The goal is to get it to open, but have it still function in the same manner as it did before. And other than a lobotomist, or Saddam Hussein's secret police, no one would drill into a brain. Unless you count trepanation in antiquity, but they usually had enough sense only to drill through the skull, and not into the brain.

Um, I think I spoke too fast when I relegated trepanation to antiquity. There's a trepanation revival movement (login required, unfortunately), which is discussed in a piece calledThis Site Takes An Open Mind -- Literally. Not only are they serious, they believe their minds are opened and their spirits are released by the procedure:

Like modern versions of the medieval barbers hammered through heads to release demons, today's trepanation buffs disregard the conventions of mainstream science and devise their own arguments for why a drill bit can break the oppressive bonds of reality.

Proponents of this controversial and bizarre "surgery" claim that blood is the brain's food. In a hermetically sealed cranium, they say, blood flow is constricted by that pest gravity. Therefore, a hole in the head will restore normal blood flow and your noodle will be "lifted from starvation rations to a more generous supply of food," according to the site.

The ancient practice received new interest in the 20th century from Danish "physician" Bart Hughes, who came up with these hare-brained ideas while high on mescaline. Hughes was denied his official medical license because of his liberal advocacy of marijuana use. In a rare 1966 interview, Hughes laid out a psychedelic rationale for trepanation: "Gravity is the enemy. The adult is its victim; society is its disease. My problem is how to explain to the adult that he has too little blood in his brain to understand -- if he has too little blood in his brain to understand that."

Being "liberated from gravity's drag" is the ultimate goal of trepanation, according to Hughes. Hughes said that, after he got his own top popped, he felt as carefree as a 13-year-old again.

Trepanation advocates claim the uptightness of adulthood is directly related to the brain's blood volume, therefore driving an auger through your head will return you to those blissful days of childhood, freeing up inhibitions and expanding consciousness.

With the '90s' surge in body-piercing and other fashionable forms of self-mutilation, the pratice caught the attention of Spin magazine. Leading doctors debunked the practice in a May 1998 Spin article: "Dear God," Dr. Barbara Hastings of the American Academy of Neurology told Spin. "To do something that crude to yourself is bizarre! Essentially what they're doing is altering the bony structure, and if they're good at it, they don't touch the dura (the membrane covering the brain). They're not doing anything that would affect the brain, just the skull. ... What they're saying is happening is not anatomically possible."

"I could look like someone from the establishment protecting my turf, but there are major concerns here, Dr. Patrick Kelly of New York University Medical Center told Spin. "Bleeding and infections are the big ones. You could also easily puncture a hole in the brain. This is just crazy."

So when Junior comes home and says he wants to get some "piercing" done, make sure he's talking about the ear/nose/lip and eyebrow variety. And put the 13-volt cordless drill under lock and key.

"Mom I drilled a hole in my head to open my closed mind!"

But aren'r they forcing change and using the wrong method of entry.

All things considered, I prefer Dr. Helen's approach.

MORE: Just what you've always wanted -- a trepanation video clip:

Not to be a bore, but here are some Western do-it-yourself trepanations:

Honestly, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

UPDATE: "Brain surgery done with a common hardware store power drill." That was the title of Ann Althouse's post about a totally different subject.

Must be the election season....