preemptive coldening

Forgive my slowness in blogging, but I'm trying to fight off a cold while freezing my butt off. Temperatures have been in the teens and it's snowing right now.

Naturally, I want to blame someone for this vicious coldening, and the most likely culprit is Al Gore, who has a documented record of ushering in icy weather wherever he goes. Trouble is, I couldn't figure out when he was last here, although I did learn that he was busy lecturing Christians in Atlanta not too long ago about how they should be stewards of the earth.

I kid you not. Here he is, Bible in hand!


Notice the green color.

Gore's lecture referred to God's green Earth and that's with a capital E!

"When did people of faith get so locked into a ideological coalition that they have got to go along with the wealthiest and most powerful who don't want to see change of the kind that is aimed at helping people and protecting God's green Earth?" Gore asked the supportive crowd.
I don't know when. But that sounds suspiciously like a leading question, along the lines of "when did you stop beating your wife?"

There's more green religion:

Gore, a Baptist, religiously spiced up his presentation by sprinkling in quotes from the Bible about caring for the Earth or heeding warnings about coming disasters.

Melting ice caps, growing levels of carbon in the atmosphere and the increasing intensity of tropical storms all are signs something is wrong, Gore said, and Christians must join others to act in averting possible catastrophe.

After the speech, Allen pointed to the disaster spawned by Hurricane Katrina, which devastated the Gulf Coast. "Now we are asking: Is there any way we can diminish the future Katrinas?" he said.

Gee. All this time I thought Katrina had been caused by the sodomites. You learn something every day.

But seriously, was Gore here recently? The temperature is so low that there must be some explanation. Might it be that the coldening I am experiencing (and which has made me sick) is a result of the documented phenomenon known as the Gore Effect?

Because I can't find any evidence that Al Gore was here, I have to be fair and say that it's inconclusive. More studies are clearly needed.

But considering that the Gore Effect is so well known, what about the Precautionary Principle?

"When an activity raises threats of harm to human health or the environment, precautionary measures should be taken even if some cause and effect relationships are not fully established scientifically."
While taking such precautions by not inviting him might explain why Al Gore's absence from the Northeast lately, I'm thinking that there might also be an Al Gore ripple effect (possibly in the form of convection currents from Atlanta).

Finally, there's an upcoming Al Gore event safely scheduled for May:

The risks of global warming are expected to rise significantly in May, thanks to all the hot air likely to be released into the atmosphere over Philadelphia during that city's liberal love-fest of the year.

The environmental activist group PennFuture will hold its 10th anniversary gala on May 3 at the Society Hill Sheraton in Philly.

The keynote speaker is Al Gore, the former vice president turned planet-saving environmentalist. He drew headlines last year after reports that his Tennessee mansion uses more electricity every month than the average American home does in an entire year.

OK, they've got their facts a little screwed up, because while he may bring hot air in the figurative sense, he brings cold air in the literal sense. This is all so well documented as to not be open to serious question. Let's face it, things don't make it into the urban dictionary absent an overwhelming blogospheric consensus.

That the visit won't occur until May is probably the Precautionary Principle at work, but right now I'm thinking it was too little, too late.

posted by Eric on 02.12.08 at 06:23 PM


I believe it is universally held by believing Jews and Christians that God expects us to properly use and care for the environment which He created for us. In other words, I believe; whether conservative or liberal, that we use our reverence for God in service to the environment.

Is Mr. Gore using the environmental arguments regarding global warming in the service of God and the Earth's environment, or is he using God in the service of self?

Ronald   ·  February 12, 2008 7:58 PM

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