Rome wasn't burnt in a day....

WARNING: ALTHOUGH IT WAS CONTENT-VERIFIED, THIS STORY IS NOT TRUE!

John at Locusts and Honey links to a story I missed about so-called "Christian" "looters" destroying adult stores:

"If looters can rob electronics stores, then we can tear down satanic businesses," said Melvin Smith, a minister from Christ Cornerstone Ministries in Tupelo, Miss. His team of 19 Bible institute students methodically gutted a sex shop in the French Quarter, burning the contents in the street. They left a note posted on the wall: "They will call you the City of the Lord - Isaiah 60:14."
The looters are of course on the side of the hurricane, which they believe was sent by God to destroy New Orleans' wickedness.

No word on why God spared the French Quarter...

Apparently, the looters feel that their conduct was justified by a "moral emergency":

"People said the looters shouldn't be punished because it was an emergency situation. Well this is an emergency, too. A moral emergency."

Two blocks away another Christian group emptied a tarot card reader shop, piling occult-related material in the street and dousing it with lighter fluid.

"Thank you, Lord," said one as the flames reached 12 feet and higher.

"Amen," said several others, tossing incantation books onto the growing bonfire. The police were nowhere to be seen.

A minister from Alabama who would not give his name said his group was targeting places of "sexual and spiritual deviance." He had already "taken out" seven such businesses. His remaining targets: a psychic reader shop on Burgundy St., two sex shops and a strip club on Bourbon St., and a bookstore with voodoo-related books.

"This hurricane could be the best thing God ever did for New Orleans," he said.

I'm assuming that had the store owners defended their businesses, they'd have been accused of "persecuting Christians."

Sigh.


MORE: Despite the rioters' characterizations of their deliberate destruction of property as "looting," I don't think that the latter word is an accurate legal description of what occurred. At the very least, what happened was vandalism and rioting. If the property destruction was intended to intimidate legal conduct or influence public policy, it might very well fit modern legal definitions of terrorism.

But alas! "Justice" is sometimes little more than a pagan deity....

MORE: According to John (in the comments below), the story is fake!

But it's nonetheless accurate -- because it obviously might as well have been true!

posted by Eric on 10.23.05 at 12:55 PM





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Comments

By that reasoning, atheists would have the right to destroy churches. Will these "Christians" start destroying other Christian churces that disagree with them on this or other issues? Are they Calvinists, and will they burn down Arminian churches, or vice versa?

I think this illustrates the difference between anarchy and freedom.

You realize that my source for the news story is satircal, like The Onion. Right?

John   ·  October 23, 2005 02:32 PM

Yeah? Well it might as well have been true! But the blog I found it on says they went too far, so I'm standing behind the fact that they might as well have!

Eric Scheie   ·  October 23, 2005 03:01 PM

It sounds like Dan Rather vetted the story, so I'd go with it.

Sandy Ford   ·  October 23, 2005 04:23 PM

You can't trust that blog. It's nothing more than muckraking tripe dredged together by some guy in his pajamas.

[and yes, it could have easily been true]

John   ·  October 23, 2005 05:43 PM

A satire, huh? OK. I should have got that. Even had it been true of some "fringe" church", I would have to say it's not at all true of the overwhelming majority of Christians. Most Christians obey the law. That's commanded in the Bible (Romans 13:1-7).

Most Christians, yes. I'm not sure that applies to all Christian bloggers, though!

:)

Coco, the running dog lacky of Classical Values   ·  October 23, 2005 08:59 PM

Once again: the style of the titles of your posts! No blogger does it like you....

Glad to see that your site posts only 100% humor pieces. Keep up the good work. Let me know if you would like me to do some humor writing for you.

Here, let me know what you think of this one, it's a poem I call "Ode to the Southern Renaissance Man"

Of the size of his flag he'll regale ya
And his knowledge of sheep genitalia
He's a loyal Bush fan
See, he's plastered his van
Front to back with Bush paraphernalia

Speaks in grunts and words single-syllabic
Rebel flag is his state’s social fabric
That he wears on his back
Racist chic (the new black)
Thinks that Condi is hot (for a black chick)

His lust for Rush Limbaugh is chronic
Though he claims that its only platonic
A confirmed shitto-head
Rush’s pic by his bed
The mere thought of Rush gets him hardon-ic

Drives two rusted old gray Chevy half-tons
Favorite things are cold beers and warm guns
Pile of trash in his yard
He don’t work none too hard
Loves all stem cells (except for the gay ones)

Left school early but might can still cipher
Rebel Yell he considers a cry ‘fer
Some saving of face
By the South’s “master race”
At the Johnny Reb club he’s a lifer

Saw Dukes of Hazzard and went apoplectic
He’s a hillbilly film genre skeptic
Burt’s Boss Hogg he found lazy
And Jess Simpson as Daisy
He found forced, trite, and quite antiseptic

Mention Clinton, his lip starts to quiver
“Hillary” down his spine sends a shiver
Head in ass, he don’t know
‘bout the fiscal death blow
GOP to him’s set to deliver

Haute cuisine 2 big Macs (extra cheese)
Mention Reagan he drops to his knees
Though he’s flat busted broke
Still he loves the rich folk
Though it screws him he’ll do as they please

High culture to him? Wax museum
The next NASCAR event? Bet you’ll see him
Sunburned, drunk, weighs a ton
There’s a million, which one?
He’s the one with the 12 beer per diem

Loves the war long as it ain’t him fightin’
The sad truth is it’s hard to enlighten
One who lacks brains or balls
Hides when his country calls
Loves war talk, but real war tends to frighten

Though morally blind he can see
Fiscal damage done by GOP
Supports them all the more
Hates those gays, loves that war
Sign on scrotum and head: Vacancy

A twice-born evangelical dimwit
Found Christ once, but misplaced him, dagnabbit
Born of shit and whole cloth
Greatest virtue is sloth
Moral and intellectual midget

He is fat-assed, foul-smelling and toothless
Loves his dog, to his kids he is ruthless
Works full time at the dump
Proudly dumb as a stump
Claims his sex scandal rumors are truthless

Says the South will be risin' agin'
Should we fear Southern Man and his kin?
Shoot, they's plumb out of luck
Couldn't start Granny's truck
They'll regroup with some home-distilled gin

They’ll debate whether South Carolina
Is the country’s asshole or vagina
It’s the foremost debate
In the reddest Red State
While Bush exports all their jobs to China

phil   ·  October 24, 2005 11:57 AM

I try to avoid insulting people or engaging in stereotypes, although the temptation is often there.

Eric Scheie   ·  October 24, 2005 03:13 PM

Phil:

You shouldn't speak that way of your fellow Democrats.



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