Because my psychotically mean Trimac cichlid has outgrown his tank and is suddenly threatening to kill his tankmates (including my beloved mud turtle), I had a bit of an aquarium emergency, to which I devoted much of today.
(Hence I'm way behind on blogging, and haven't had time to catch up with current events. I did see something about Obama Beach, though. Or was that Mutual of Obama?)
To remedy the immediate problem, I found a used 55 gallon tank, but it needs to go in the living room, and because the only stand I have for it is a hideous home-made eyesore made of 2x4s, I decided that it wouldn't do to set it up, as it's very hard to change everything later.
So I went out this morning and found a stand which will fit the style of the room. Trouble is, it came in kit form and looked like this:
That's 20 pieces of wood, plus two bags of screws and hardware.
It took me nearly 3 hours to put it together (you have to recheck everything constantly, lest you end up with one of the finished sides facing the wrong way), but finally I ended up with this:
It doesn't look too bad, and it seems solid enough. The only complaint I have is with the lawyers, who put a ridiculous disclaimer on the front page of the instructions:
WARNING
Unit can tip over causing severe injury or death.
And underneath that there are more warnings, but here's the part that killed me:
Put heavy items on lower shelves or drawers.
Who are they kidding? This is an aquarium stand, for God's sake. The aquarium goes on top!
Sure, there are some little shelves you could put things on, but there is no place to put the aquarium except on the top. That's what it was designed for.
Or are the lawyers warning me that it was not designed for what it was designed for?
I'm thinking they should have also warned me not to submerge myself in the aquarium and drown.
Hey don't laugh! It could happen. I might have to get in there and commune with my fish and then I could pass out or something. And with no warning, the company might be liable.
posted by Eric on 06.07.09 at 05:58 PM
Comments
My best advice for that kind of tank support is after you have put it together, get about a dozen right-angle brackets, a couple 2x2s, a bottle of glue, and proceed to attach them all internally in a fashion such that elephants can tap-dance on top. Oh, and a can of waterproof brown paint for the raw wood inside the cabinet (slather it on good) when you're all done. The downside is that you will never be able to disassemble it without a chainsaw and a crowbar. The upside is you won't have a half-full aquarium go crashing to the floor as the particle board comes unglued.
Disclaimer: 2x2s are fairly small compared to normal stuff I build (which is dense as neutronium, ugly as a brick, and will still be supporting weight at the heat-death of the universe).
Stephen Malcom Anderson's secret lesbian admirer · June 8, 2009 12:49 AM
Oops... a mistake!
You should have converted your cichlid into a plate of fish & chips. Sorry, 'Sea Kittens' & chips. Those buggers will just continue to grow until you can feed the multitudes, and always with the bad attitude
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Don?t bang your head!
My best advice for that kind of tank support is after you have put it together, get about a dozen right-angle brackets, a couple 2x2s, a bottle of glue, and proceed to attach them all internally in a fashion such that elephants can tap-dance on top. Oh, and a can of waterproof brown paint for the raw wood inside the cabinet (slather it on good) when you're all done. The downside is that you will never be able to disassemble it without a chainsaw and a crowbar. The upside is you won't have a half-full aquarium go crashing to the floor as the particle board comes unglued.
Disclaimer: 2x2s are fairly small compared to normal stuff I build (which is dense as neutronium, ugly as a brick, and will still be supporting weight at the heat-death of the universe).