I hate to think that I might be diagnosed as a conservative for saying this, but I have never liked other people's saliva.

It's irrational and I admit it. I'm not afraid of blood or urine, and I would rather be bled on or urinated on than drooled on. The relative actual dangers of these substances have little to do with it; in terms of bacteria content, urine happens to be the cleanest, and saliva the dirtiest, but blood has its own dangers (especially if it manages to get combined with your own). I just find saliva gross.

Normally, it wouldn't occur to me to bare my soul in this way, but earlier in the grocery store, the bagger (a facially deformed man with vitiligo on his hands, BTW -- not that there's anything wrong with that!), kept licking his fingers every time he pulled out another plastic bag for my groceries, and I didn't like it. Now, I thought it over carefully, and I realized that it wasn't the fact that he had a deformity or a skin disease which bothered me. I understand that vitiligo is not contagious or unsanitary, and I'd have the same reaction to an attractive person who did the same thing. It was the saliva -- and fact that he licked his hands and touched my food. I know I'm being irrational, because even though I know that the human mouth is "teeming with bacteria," what happened probably won't make me any more sick than the fact that the shopping cart handles have doubtless been drooled on by countless babies. Which means that if the health issue were my paramount concern, I'd be wiping down everything that might have been touched by humans in the store, and I'd have washed my hands as soon as I got home (which I didn't).

Plus, I don't mind dog saliva at all, and I love it when Coco licks me. See how screwed up I am?

This is therefore a classic phobia. According to the medical model, I need help and understanding, not blame and judgment!

(As to the people who thought this discussion was gross, be glad I didn't discuss my admitted coprophobia. Yes, if I'd seen the man reaching into his pants and scratching his ass before bagging my groceries, I'd have been even more perturbed.)

CORRECTION: I momentarily confused "vitiligo" and "impetigo." (Error corrected.)

MORE: Commenter Chocolatier offers the following advice:

When a clerk in a store opens a plastic bag by wetting his fingers in his mouth first, I take my purchase out of the bag and leave the bag on the counter. If its a food store, I'll complain the manager as well.

So I called and spoke to an assistant manager, who told me that they had ongoing problems with this bagger, and she almost begged me to put something in writing, because the man had Downs Syndrome and was disabled, that "we've talked to him over and over, there's nothing else we can do unless someone complains in writing." She also said they had talked to his supervisor. I expressed concern about the man's bathroom habits, and she told me that they had the same concerns, but the management worried that the guy just couldn't handle simple instructions.

Amazing. Can't a store fire someone for being unable to follow simple instructions?

Any ideas as to what might be going on here?

It seems to matter that the finger-licking bagger has Downs Syndrome.

Should it?