Because my psychotically mean Trimac cichlid has outgrown his tank and is suddenly threatening to kill his tankmates (including my beloved mud turtle), I had a bit of an aquarium emergency, to which I devoted much of today.

(Hence I'm way behind on blogging, and haven't had time to catch up with current events. I did see something about Obama Beach, though. Or was that Mutual of Obama?)

To remedy the immediate problem, I found a used 55 gallon tank, but it needs to go in the living room, and because the only stand I have for it is a hideous home-made eysore made of 2x4s, I decided that it wouldn't do to set it up, as it's very hard to change everything later.

So I went out this morning and found a stand which will fit the style of the room. Trouble is, it came in kit form and looked like this:

That's 20 pieces of wood, plus two bags of screws and hardware.

It took me nearly 3 hours to put it together (you have to recheck everything constantly, lest you end up with one of the finished sides facing the wrong way), but finally I ended up with this:

It doesn't look too bad, and it seems solid enough. The only complaint I have is with the lawyers who make them put ridiculous disclaimer right on the front page of the instructions:

WARNING
Unit can tip over causing severe injury or death.

Put heavy items on lower shelves or drawers.

A filled 55 gallon aquarium weighs 625 pounds.

Sure, there are some little shelves you could put things on, but there is no place to put the aquarium except on the top. That's what it was designed for.

Or are the lawyers warning me that it was not designed for what it was designed for?

I'm thinking they should have also warned me not to submerge myself in the aquarium drown.

Hey don't laugh! It could happen. I might have to get in there and commune with my fish and then I could pass out or something. And with no warning, the company might be liable.