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November 24, 2008
Face the music
I'm not sure about whether making convicted noisemakers listen to music they don't like isn't carrying "an eye for an eye" too far: FORT LUPTON -- Barry Manilow's "I Write the Songs" may begin with the line, "I've been alive forever,'" but for noise ordinance violators, listening to Manilow may feel like forever.When US special forces invaded Panama, one of the methods used to force Manuel Noriega to give up was by blasting him with loud and obnoxious music. The Vatican objected. And might this technique backfire? I mean, suppose some of these miscreants are psychopaths, and they hate Barry Manilow so much that they get even with society by driving around blasting peaceful neighborhoods with "I write the songs"? The problem with these things is that one man's torment is another man's joy. My favorite awful song of torment happens to be "Hamburger Lady" by Throbbing Gristle. Seriously, it gives me the creeps to listen to it, even though I think it evokes a pretty accurate musical picture of the charbroiled woman the song is about. The lyrics: Hamburger LadyEtc. I think that if you played that at concert hall pitch for a manacled and hooded prisoner, it would be pretty upsetting. Whether it would cure him of his exhibitionistic need to blast strangers, I don't know. I'm wondering whether a more fitting punishment might be to make them develop new and negative associations with the music they do like. You know, the way they wrecked Beethoven for Alex in "A Clockwork Orange"? Judicially, I can't tell whether the idea of forcing Manilow on the noisemakers is along the lines of an eye for an eye or a form of aversive therapy. It reminds me of the way parents in the old days would punish a kid they caught smoking by forcing him to smoke an entire cigar -- a technique which apparently worked with golfing coach George Pinnell. What about Barry Manilow? Has he any right to not have his music used as aversive therapy? Or does he only have a right to get the money from ASCAP from whoever plays it? Years ago, some people who worked in a restaurant I frequented complained to me about gangster rap kids who would come in late at night and hang out at the bar without drinking and without ordering food, and who would blast the patrons with their music in the parking lot. They wondered what might discourage them, and they debated playing country music, but worried that the regulars they wanted to keep wouldn't like it. I suggested playing the Grateful Dead, and to my amazement, they tried it and later told me it worked like a charm. The gangster rap kids looked more and more bored and eventually stopped hanging out there. But these people were free to leave. I'm partial to the Dead and I'd never want anyone to be forced to listen to it as punishment. As to John Lennon's "Imagine," that's another matter. posted by Eric on 11.24.08 at 07:39 PM
Comments
I tried that aversion therapy stuff on my son when he was 10. He and his buddies stole some snuff and I thought... okay, he wants snuff... sure. As he got paler than a KKK outfit, broke out in a sweat and started shaking, I knew I'd screwed up big time. He survived, but I've not been a fan of aversion therapy since. The worst thing that could happen is a whole new crop of Manilow fans, right? Surely, that's right... what harm would that do? Donna B. · November 24, 2008 11:30 PM Good God. "Imagine" is the most over-rated, obnoxious piece of tripe ever committed to audiotape. It's so god-awful boring. It's just one note, with the most amazingly trite lyrics sung over it. It's something that an artsy but dull-witted high school sophomore thinks is deep sh*t. And I generally like John Lennon. But you got to admit he's got the weakest solo catalog of any Beatle -- Ringo included. "Imagine" is worse that anything in the Barry Manilow catalog. Yeah, Barry's boring, but folks need to stop picking on him. It's too easy. But if I'm ever loitering somewhere, the only song that would clear me out of the place quicker than "Imagine" is "When a Man Loves a Woman." Michael Bolton's version will get me out quicker, but Percy Sledge's execrable original will do the trick too. Rhodium Heart · November 25, 2008 12:28 AM I suggested playing the Grateful Dead, and to my amazement, they tried it and later told me it worked like a charm. I'm a little surprised, too. I'm surprised they only left. A couple choruses of "Ripple" and I don't think I could stop myself from shooting up the place on the way out. Similarly, my cat gets incredibly violent whenever he hears Robert Plant's voice. I think everyone (and -thing) has one sound that hits them just right to make them completely nuts. '70s Dead is mine. No idea why. There are similar things I really like. But I love Throbbing Gristle. Thanks for the reminder to pull the old records out. Been a long time. I think that if you played that at concert hall pitch for a manacled and hooded prisoner, it would be pretty upsetting. I can almost confirm that that's not so. Almost. guy on internet · November 25, 2008 01:00 AM I never did figure out what it was about the Grateful Dead that others loved so much. And I grew up in that era. If you want me to leave any scene, play Jimmy Buffet, but tie my hands first because on my way out I'll cheerfully choke the life out of who played it. Ten years in Key West did that to me. Oyster · November 25, 2008 06:41 AM Post a comment
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You youngsters would have no way of knowing this but, some decades ago, in the newspaper comics, Smilin' Jack was captured by the Commies. They put him in The Music Room and asked him what he really hated so they could -- heh-heh -- avoid it. Being a straight-talkin' Yank, he told them. Sure enough, they blasted his ears with that awful popular music. Filthy Russki scum.