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May 01, 2008
Tell me this isn't satire. Please!
I just got a long email from Human Events which is marketing (in the manner of a self-improvement program) a how-to course which promises to turn 97 pound intellectual weaklings into Charles Atlases ready to do battle against the Great Satan Charles Darwin, by discrediting and debunking evolution. While I get a lot of annoying email, I ignore most of it, and normally I wouldn't have bothered blogging about this one, but the timing -- right after the controversy over Ben Stein's Darwin-inspired-the Holocaust thesis -- made me wonder about something, and I don't know quite how to put it. It's one thing to believe in Intelligent Design, and I certainly think it's fair to take issue with elitists who think they're entitled to stifle skepticism and dissent. But mass marketing a systematic attack on Darwin during political campaign season? Whatever can these people be thinking? Is it possible that the conservative movement really does want to self-destruct? Anyway, the anti-evolution self-improvement program Human Events is pitching is called "Tear Apart the "Theory" of Evolution -- And Win Every Debate, Every Time," and here's the introductory description: Show any Skeptic that Evolution is Based on Myths,Got the general idea? I copied and pasted the html of the email below for anyone who wants to learn more. [NOTE: All hot links and payment links have been removed or modified.] While I have no problem defending this nonsense on the basis of free speech, I'm not sure that encouraging the growth of an organized movement against evolution is in the best interest of the fractured conservative movement. I'm worried not only that no good will come of this, but that if it really spreads, it could cause a great deal of harm to the Republican Party. Not only will it cause incredible fractiousness, but I can think of no better way for the Democrats to whip up support and rally the troops than to have a colorable claim that the GOP is "against evolution." I realize that many on the left already think the Republicans are a bunch of morons but is it really necessary for a leading conservative journal to go out of its way to supply then with apparent proof? Were I a Democratic activist, I'd be absolutely delighted. From:Human Events
Below please find a special message from one of our advertisers, Twin Angels Publishing. From time to time, we receive opportunities we believe you as a valued customer may want to know about. Please note that the following message does not necessarily reflect the editorial positions of Human Events. Tear Apart the |
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Charles Darwin in |
And that's bad news... All you have to do is
open a newspaper to know the scientists are winning.
It all started in 1859, when Charles Darwin
published his first book on evolution. Almost
immediately, scientists, atheists and
university types grabbed the idea and promoted the heck out of
it.
Once they figured out evolution was their
golden opportunity to get rid of God, there was no stopping
them. They pushed evolution to the point of becoming "official
policy" without ever letting you know it would crumble if
exposed to the light of day.
So that's what I did: I exposed it. And boy
did it crumble...
Darwin himself said that future scientists
would find fossils of "transitional forms." Here's what he
meant: If fish really evolved into animals, you would find
fossils of creatures that
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Fossil: This is a |
were half-fish, half-animal. This would show
that one species was making a transition into another.
So far, no transitional forms have ever
been discovered! And of course, no transitional creature
exists today. Let's be honest: Have you ever gone to the zoo
and seen a cross between a fish and an animal? Or a half-man,
half-monkey?
All the creatures living on this planet are
perfectly formed. There is no record of any animal,
fish, beast or creature EVER turning into a different
species.
In fact, the real fossil record shows almost
no change. That means many of the creatures on this Earth have
not changed since the beginning of time.
Here's something else you won't read in the
newspaper: Hundreds of scientists and university professors
are coming out against evolution.
This should be front-page news. But you'll never hear about it
in the media.
Check out what some of them are saying about
these missing fossils:
• Professor Steven J. Gould, Harvard
University: "The extreme rarity of transitional forms in the
fossil record persists as the trade secret of paleontology."
Translation: Dr.
Gould is a little too kind. The number of transitional forms
is ZERO.
• Dr. Colin Patterson, British Museum of
Natural History: "I will lay it on the line - there is not one
such fossil for which one could make a watertight
argument."
Translation: There's
simply no hard evidence for evolution.
• Dr. Gareth J. Nelson, American Museum of
Natural History: "It is a mistake to believe that even one
fossil species... can be demonstrated to have been ancestral to
another."
Translation:
Darwin's theory doesn't have a leg to stand on...
You Think That's
Something? Check This Out...
At some point in our history, thousands of new
creatures suddenly appeared. And the scientists
actually agree on this. This one fact is enough to put the
"theory" of evolution to rest forever.
Think about it... Evolution says that new forms
of life never appear suddenly. They tell us
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The Trilobite: This |
new species evolve slowly over "millions of
years." They claim that small mutations occur to a single
species and that over time, a new creature is born.
If that's true, then how can thousands of new
creatures come to life all at once - like they did during this
one period of history?
Sounds crazy, doesn't it?
Their own scientific discoveries do a nice job
of disproving evolution. Yet these very same scientists go on
TV and tell us that evolution is "tested and proven."
It only goes to show: Scientists will
believe ANYTHING if the alternative is admitting that God
created the world!
When you take God out of His own Creation,
crazy things start to happen... You get "respected" scientists
saying that fish can sprout legs and monkeys can turn into
men.
But when you look under the hood, there's NO
PROOF whatsoever.
Let me tell you... All of this really got me
worked up. These people are deceiving us at God's
expense.
Even worse, they're teaching this stuff to our
children. Millions of kids are growing up thinking we live in
a godless, mechanical world that has no meaning at all.
In spite of many brave parents, schools around
the country keep evolution firmly in place - making it the
only explanation our kids get. And I don't have to tell you
how difficult that makes it to raise kids with real Christian
values.
Left unchecked, evolution will eventually rob
you of prayer and your personal relationship with God.
Think about this for a moment: Taking God out
of His creation means prayer and communication with God
becomes a fairy tale - an impossibility.
Darwin believed prayer and the belief in God
comes from an animal's instinct to feel awe or inspiration
from things it doesn't understand. Scientists now call this
"magical thinking."
Here's an example: If a monkey sees a leaf
blowing in the wind, it may think the leaf has magical powers
because it doesn't know the wind is giving it lift and
motion.
Scientists and atheists believe prayer and
your faith in God is just a logical next step in the evolution
of the "magical thinking" they find in apes and monkeys.
They're taking us for fools.
And for the most part, we're not doing
anything about it. But if you learn a thing or two about their
"theory," you can win every debate, every time.
Remember Tom... the guy at the restaurant who
embarrassed me in front of my friends? I saw him again, two
years later. Only this time things were different.
After all my research, he didn't stand a
chance. He folded like a house of cards.
In just a second, I'll tell you the rest of
the story... First, I want to tell you how I sent him packing.
Here's the key: The average person on the
street accepts evolution without understanding it.
They can tell you that it's "proven"... and
that's about it. If they've done their homework, maybe they
can tell you that so-and-so did an experiment... or so-and-so
wrote a book...
But if you know the missing pieces, you can
shoot down every one of their arguments - every time.
And because they don't really understand what they're
defending, they suddenly fall silent when they can't fire off
a come back.
They get shell-shocked when they come up
against a Christian who knows more about evolution than they
do.
In an ideal world, you should be able to
defend God's Creation with the Bible alone. But we live in
dark times.
Scientists, atheists and all those university
types will ALWAYS reject the Bible. It doesn't matter how many
passages you quote - they'll ALWAYS tell you that God is a
fantasy.
But if you go after their beloved
"theory" of evolution - and show them beyond a shadow of a
doubt that it's based on a bunch of guesswork, forgeries and
outright lies, then congratulations...
You just beat them at their own
game.
It's a great feeling. To see them with their
mouths hanging open... A look of shock on their faces... Not
knowing what to say... Feeling confused and embarrassed...
And here's the best part:
After my research I started telling my friends
about what I'd found. Like me, they were amazed evolution
could be crushed so quickly and easily.
They started to tell their friends and the
whole thing started to snow ball. In no time at all, our
Sunday morning coffee sessions turned into a small community
of Christians devoted to exposing the myths of evolution.
After a few months, I started getting phone
calls from people I didn't even know - asking me to tell them
about the discoveries I made.
As the momentum started to build, my Sunday
morning "crew" started nudging me to write this stuff down. I
hesitated at first, but realized that it might help other
folks defend God's place in our lives.
With that in mind, I sat down at the computer
and started to type.
I sent out a few drafts by e-mail and the
feedback was immediate: These missing pieces were so hot; they
were sparking debate and knocking skeptics on their heels.
I put all the missing pieces into a 55-page
e-book called Disprove Darwin In 5 Minutes or
Less... In it, I give you simple and effective
ways to knock down and tear apart the theory of evolution.
But don't worry: It's not a boring textbook.
It's easy to read and everything is set up in a way that's
easy to remember and easy to refer back to...
I stripped down and demystified evolution so
anyone can understand it. I took out all the jargon and all
the non-sense and cut right to the chase.
It's kind of like a handbook that tells you
how to counter every argument or piece of "proof" they can
throw at you. Within it minutes of opening it you can start
using this high-powered ammunition to blow apart any argument,
any time...
Even better, I show you how
to fight evolution. I don't just give you
facts and stories; I give you the strategies the scientists
are using to fight against us - and how to counter them.
Once you know what they're up to, you can pull
the rug right out from under them - no matter what they throw
at you.
I reveal the myths, falsehoods - and in some
cases - the outright lies that have propped up the "theory" of
evolution for nearly 150 years.
You'll get the simple and easy-to-apply
strategies that kick the skeptics to the curb. I'll even
show you my "rapid fire" take down that puts every ivy-league
evolution lover up against the wall in 5 minutes or less.
Here's just a quick feel for what you'll get a
hold of:
When you're armed with the documented,
undeniable evidence you'll find in Disprove Darwin
In 5 Minutes or Less... you'll have everything you
need to take on evolution and win. So don't be surprised when
your friends ask you for the details.
Just days after getting it, people will start
coming to you for answers. I should know: It happened to me.
At first, I was a little nervous about suddenly being the
center of attention.
But when I saw the smile on my pastor's face -
and felt the gratitude of my friends and congregation - I knew
I was doing the right thing.
After all, it's our duty as Christians to
defend our Faith. And honoring God as our Father and Creator
is at the core of everything we believe. Without it,
everything else falters: Prayer... Devotion... Salvation...
Take away God as our Creator and it all
vanishes.
By arming yourself with the truth about
evolution, you'll expose the lies and set people straight.
Six months after finishing my research, I saw
Tom in the parking lot of our local grocery store. He
recognized me right away. I approached him and asked him if he
remembered our lively debate. He cracked a smile so I told him
I'd been doing some reading on evolution.
He raised an eyebrow and gave me a smirk,
like, "Oh, please... this nutty Bible-thumper thinks he
knows something about evolution..."
That's when something remarkable happened. In
less than 5 minutes I cut down every "solid" argument for
evolution he had ever heard of... And here's the best part:
He just stood there with his mouth hanging
open.
He didn't know what to say or what to do... To
this day, I don't know what shocked him more: Watching his
cherished beliefs go down in flames or realizing I knew what I
was talking about.
When I fully understood the impact of this
evidence, I knew I had to tell other Christians. That's why I'm writing to you. I want you to know
the truth about evolution TODAY!
Download Disprove Darwin In 5
Minutes or Less... right now for just $24.95. It's
100% refundable if you're not completely happy with it.
 |
I trust your judgment and your good
faith. That's why I'm giving you a no-stress, no-hassle
guarantee. If it's not for you, just let me know and you'll
get ALL your money back.
PLUS I'll let you keep Disprove
Darwin In 5 Minutes or Less... with my
compliments!
Even better... There's no time limit to my
guarantee. Keep it for three years and I'll still return
your money. That way, I take all the risk.
And that leaves you free to get on with what's
important: Showing the rest of the world that God is our
Creator. (And putting those atheists in their place.)
The evidence I turned up during my research is
amazing. There's so much of it, I couldn't fit it all in my
book.
To make sure you get every possible piece of
evolution-crushing evidence - and every strategy to make you a
winner, I keep you updated every week.
For no extra cost I'll send you my weekly
letters, and my monthly newsletter straight to your
inbox.
In both you'll find all my latest research...
All the tips, stories and revelations you can use to go up
against even the staunchest scientists and university types.
I'll keep you up to date and well armed.
You'll never be out of touch. And of course, I'll deliver it
in a way that's easy to use and easy to understand.
(The general public pays $9.95 a month - but
you'll get it FREE!)
You now have everything you need to crush the
"theory" of evolution and win every debate, every time.
All you have to do is download it and use it.
Join me today. Together we'll put an end to
150 years of cult worship and bring God back to His Creation.
Christians around the country are
already using this ammunition to overthrow the
soul-destroying deception we know as evolution.
You're just moments away... In a few seconds,
you'll have the ammunition you need - right in your own
hands.
Click the link below to get started now.
Yours in Faith,
Jeffrey Howard
I can't wait for the next installment: "Epicycles in a Half Hour: Not Such a Bad Idea"
...Followed up quickly with "Lightning in 60 Seconds: I've Never Seen An Ion- Must be Zeus's Rage."
That thing is a labor of love, an homage to the old Charles Atlas comic book ads. It really needs cartoons. Imagine. The timid religious dude gets intellectually beaten by a Darwinist. His girlfriend of course leaves with the alpha male. She knows the reproductive score: fit dad = fit children. But our hero takes the creationist course, packs on the intellectual muscle, and powns the Darwinist bully. Happy ending.
I think it has to be satire.
HAS anyone found a transitional fossil? I don't remember reading about such a find.
As a Christian, I have never felt the urge argue against someone else's beliefs in order to defend my own. As someone with a degree in Biology, I have also never felt the need to argue for or against the merits of theory surrounding evolution/natural selection/genetic mutation/etc because what people think about those topics is irrelevant. What is true, is, and what is not true, is not. It doesn't matter if you believes either one, both, or neither. The facts don't change. And neither do people's minds.
Next month: "Nuts to you, Newton: Aristotelian Physics in a Fortnight."
How about: "How to show a skeptic that Intelligent Design is testable, provable (or, for that matter, disprovable) in five minutes or less"? Now, THAT would be a good one...
Of course transitional species don't look like half-fish, half-bird. Of course modern humans didn't descend from modern apes--modern humans descended from ancestral forms of H. sapiens, going back through H. erectus, etc., while modern ape species descended from ancestral primate species. However, if one goes back far enough with said primate branches, disparate ancestral forms have a common ancestor. There's a reason we share 98 percent of our DNA with modern chimpanzees; and it's NOT that we descended from them...
Eric, you are the next best thing to a democratic activist, or should I have said a republican activist?
Maybe some things are just unanswerable... for now.
I suspect that Eric, along with the creationists and the darwinists, could at least agree on that much.
This sounds a great deal like proselytization. Isn't charging money to speak the word of God some type of violation of Christian ethics?
There are tons of transitional fossils. All plants and animals are transitional, unless they have no offspring.
Clear it up for you?
Are you guys a parody? This isn't a religious tract or a parody, it's a scam. Just look at the language style and structure, as opposed to content. Just change "anti evolution" to "making money at home part time" and you'll see what I mean. It's about making the writer a lot of money, not Christianity or evolution.
As a marketing director, I'd go with scam. Too much work involved for a parody, and way too market oriented for a sincere effort.
Every sucker will eventually find a dick.
Looks like you all judge things before you read them, just like the text syays,,, haha, you are afraid...
Looks like you all judge things before you read them, just like the text says,,, haha, you are afraid...
Yes, I'm absolutely terrified of reading a Reader's-Digest version of the same old arguments that betray absolutely no understanding of how things work.
I'm guessing "Tom"'s jaw was hanging open because he'd never suspected "Jeffrey" was quite that stupid.
But boy howdy, do I love that crawfish fossil. It's so perfect, it almost looks painted on. I would for sure buy some of those, if anyone knows where I could score some.
There are tons of transitional fossils. All plants and animals are transitional, unless they have no offspring.
Clear it up for you?
Don Meaker · May 2, 2008 08:16 PM
Well now Don, perhaps the definition of "transitional" has escaped you, being the change from one species to another, supposedly "over time". It's NEVER happened and is not happening NOW!!! Where are your so-called transitional fossils????
Well now Don, perhaps the definition of "transitional" has escaped you, being the change from one species to another, supposedly "over time". It's NEVER happened and is not happening NOW!!! Where are your so-called transitional fossils????
Nice to be able to argue by assertion, isn't it? My counterpoint:
IS SO!
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As someone who doubts Evolution (for many of the reasons put forth in this letter) I can't think of a worse way to combat it than to frame it as a religious issue. If anything, Evolution should be held up as an example of what goes wrong when you inject religion (naturalism/atheism) into science.