I love thinking about the psychiatric underpinnings of the "Wi-Fi allergy" meme that's been floating around like an Internet virus:

A group in Santa Fe says the city is discriminating against them because they say that they're allergic to the wireless Internet signal. And now they want Wi-Fi banned from public buildings.

Arthur Firstenberg says he is highly sensitive to certain types of electric fields, including wireless Internet and cell phones.

"I get chest pain and it doesn't go away right away," he said.

Firstenberg and dozens of other electro-sensitive people in Santa Fe claim that putting up Wi-Fi in public places is a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The city attorney is now checking to see if putting up Wi-Fi could be considered discrimination.

What's interesting is that such mental states are known to be able to bring on actual physical symptoms. I do not doubt for a moment that Mr. Firstenberg (an activist with a Wiki entry, BTW) does in fact get chest pains, and that they are real. But a lot of pain and a lot of disease symptoms have strong mind body connections. Books like this have been written on the subject. That the mind can cause or aggravate physical symptoms of disease does not diminish their reality to the patient, nor does it in any way diminish their suffering.

That emotional distress can make you sick is not a terribly profound nor terribly new idea. Why, even this blog post might upset people -- especially those who believe the Wi-Fi signals are the direct cause of their symptoms, rather than a trigger of a mental process which causes them. It is not unreasonable to assume that in such cases, mere disagreement with the diagnosis of such a suggestible person might cause more symptoms to erupt.

Even political disagreements can cause physical symptoms of illness. At the height of the Bush Derangement Hysteria era, I heard about a woman who fulminations against Bush caused her to literally erupt in hives -- something that shocked my friend whose disagreement with her had set it off.

This all raises an interesting point, though, because if we assume for the sake of argument that certain suggestible people like this will get chest pains in the presence of Wi-Fi, and that these symptoms can be documented, under the law it really doesn't matter how they originate, because it is the Wi-Fi signal (or, at least the awareness of the WiFi signal) that triggered them. Whether the signals cause the disease symptoms directly or indirectly via a psychogenic component, they still could be considered a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

All symptoms and diseases are created equal.

And after all, isn't that what lawyers are for?

If racism can cause symptoms, why not Wi-Fi?

And while we're at it, why not a lot of other things? (Global Warming, for starters....)

Hey, I'm not being judgmental here. I'm just as sick as anyone else.

Isn't my neurosis just as valid as anyone else's?

MORE: Despite my satirical tone, this is no joke to activists like Mr. Firstenberg, whose group advocates getting rid of a lot of things many people take for granted:

Electric floor or ceiling heaters, fluorescent lights, dimmer switches, and electronic security systems can all produce problematic electromagnetic fields. Finding all the sources and eliminating or avoiding them requires patience and may be time-consuming but is not necessarily difficult or expensive.

Your basic measuring tools are a $40 magnetic field meter, or "gaussmeter," and a cheap (poorer quality is better for this purpose) battery-operated AM radio. When the gaussmeter reads 0.2 milligauss or less, and the radio, when tuned between stations, remains silent (does not buzz or give loud static), you have a relatively calm environment--especially important in the sleeping area. These two measuring devices will not detect the very high frequency radiation produced by cordless phones, wireless computers, baby monitors, remote controls for appliances, radio-controlled toys, and other wireless equipment. We recommend eliminating wireless technology from the environment altogether.

However (and perhaps this comes from living for decades in Berkeley), the worry wart inside me causes me to wonder whether this could lead to a busybody movement against "second hand electronic emissions" -- in a manner similar to the movement against smoking.

Back in the early 70s, I laughed at Berkeley's GASPers. No one laughs at them now.

But suppose someone said this:

"Please turn off your laptop. You're emissions are hurting my health!"

But how long will it be funny? I'd appreciate having some sort of time frame, because after all, satire can be ruined by too much reality.