June 25, 2010
From the blackness of my dark, bleak soul! The most depressed post ever!
Over the years, I've seen a number of attempts attack, malign, regulate, categorize, and otherwise mess with bloggers, blogging, and the blogosphere, but today I stumbled across an entirely new potential avenue of approach.
Apparently specialized software has been developed which purports to psychiatrically analyze bloggers' writing styles, diagnose them as ill, and direct them into treatment. Right now, the software seems to be targeting bloggers with depression:
The program scours blogs for words and phrases, descriptions and metaphors that can indicate the writer's psychological state.Wow. That's the most depressing thing I've read in years. Makes me almost ready to contemplate doing what Dave Weigel suggested Matt Drudge do! But I won't, only because I enjoy my foul black moods too much to want to put an end to them.
But as I read this, my mood is blackening by the minute! I'm telling you, there's no hope! As Veeshir often likes to remind me, we are all doomed!
Doomed by this busybody software (which apparently can do just as good a job as the shrinks themselves):
Neuman told Haaretz that the software diagnoses largely matched those of four clinical psychologists who made their own diagnoses based on the blog posts.Dear Mr. Blogger,
According to our software analysis, your recent blog postings indicate a strong correlation with the indicators of section 311 of the DSM IV. We suggest you seek professional counseling. A copy of this diagnosis will be forwarded to the Justice Department, the IRS, and the ATF. If you own any firearms, we suggest they be surrendered now!
Sincerely, Your Independent Online Software Shrink Service.
I read the piece carefully in the hope of detecting some hint of satire, but unfortunately it was deadly serious. So now I'm feeling depressed. But hey, at least it has no intended military use!
The research and development for the software was funded by the Defense Ministry, yet Ben-Gurion University officials said yesterday the project would not be used for military purposes.Hmmm...
No way to light my fire and too lonely to sleep,
so I prayed for more lightning and I counted black sheep!
And I'm feeling lovingly vengeful too!
As anyone can see, I'm otherwise perfectly normal in every way.
posted by Eric on 06.25.10 at 03:04 PM
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