In the middle of what seemed like a completely hopeless period of my life -- with limited funds and lousy health, no less -- I found happiness in taking walks, in pback novels bought for less than a dollar, in a book with reproductions of Leonardo Da Vinci's work which was more expensive, but "lasted" longer. I truly didn't expect things to get better ever, but those were enough to hold on for, even when I thought I was an encumbrance on my family. Years later, in the hospital, in ICU, when they'd told me there was no way out and I was going to die (one reason not to have National Health. I fired those doctors and got others)I found what I missed were not the expensive vacations, the great parties, the nice shopping trips... all the other things you normally think of as "making life fun." What I missed was Saturday morning walks with my husband and kids. Late night talks with a friend over a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Falling asleep with a pet cuddling next to me. A cup of coffee slowly sipped while watching the sun come up. IOW things that can be enjoyed by almost anyone, in almost any health and any financial state short of famine.
I'm not saying this to sound sanctimonious. I'm saying it because it surprised me. As someone who is used to striving and doing the best she can and always aiming for more, I was shocked I could be satisfied with so little. Oh, I still want more -- greedy capitalist and all -- but if all else fails, I know what's enough. Not only does this make suicide less likely, it's helping me be relatively calm at the prospect of things like losing our jobs. "Okay, if this happens, what's the next best step?" And I know ultimately what we REQUIRE is not that much. And we can always try for more again.

Portia... you and Eric are both assuming a somewhat normal mental health, which certainly does not preclude despair. I suspect that among those who commit suicide there are few who are rational... and that, I think, is the difference. If you are desperate, are you necessarily rational? One can be both, but there's no guarantee they will occur simultaneously.

While I appreciate -- from the standpoint of one who has contemplated suicide -- the poetic beauty of fighting for happiness for oneself... that takes the realization that the well-being (and hopefully happiness of another) can be greatly influenced by your happiness and survival being important to someone else -- whose happiness and survival is important to you. Happiness does not happen in a void.

A selfish person can use the threat of suicide for personal gain (monetary and otherwise) and that is why the threat of suicide is a very selfish thing. In reality, one who threatens suicide is a manipulator.

Actual suicide... I dunno. I can think of arguments that it is always selfish and, perhaps, arguments that it is not. In a way, our society that keeps track of every mistake one has ever made with no way of erasing them might contribute to suicides.

Your credit rating follows you forever, your resume follows you forever, and if you are very unfortunate, your criminal file also. You might rehabilitate yourself, but will society ever recognize that you have?

Rigidity and an institutional reluctance to forgive is a societal problem that neither the political left or right wants to address. I fear it's only going to worsen.

Rigidity and an institutional reluctance to forgive is a societal problem that neither the political left or right wants to address. I fear it's only going to worsen.

How true. And unfortunately, that includes a reluctance to forgive those would-be suicides who seek help, who find themselves haunted by permanent medical records which can cause them to lose their Second Amendment rights, preclude them from running for political office or landing super-achiever type jobs of any sort. (Anyone who believes in "confidentiality" of mental health records is a fool.)

Whether truly free and independent individuals should care about such social consequences is certainly worth debating, but there's no denying their existence.

Donna, I see your point. And "the most selfish act" always seemed too... snap for me. Actually I think I was reacting to JUSTIFICATIONS for suicide and harangues on how to prevent it. You know "too many teens commit suicide. We should ensure they have..."

And Eric, health records true or otherwise mental or not, will follow you the rest of your life. And if your doctor was an ass and misdiagnosed you as an hypocondriac, you might have trouble convincing next doctor you're not. (I have been there because of very weird reactions. Took being with a family doctor for ten years before he went "wait a minute, she only comes in when something is REALLY wrong." Then he realized anotation on hospital file was someone who couldn't figure out problem and decided it was all in my mind. Then he stopped assuming everytime I came in I was 'imagining' it and started doing tests. But... ten years.) One reason I'm against thoese electronic files that supposedly will make health care SO MUCH cheaper.

Portia, you could not be more correct about medical records. Eric, you could not be more correct about their supposed confidentiality.