Late last night (when I probably should have been in bed), I wrote a post about Hillary Clinton's cat, and as I tried to explain, cats are not my area of expertise. Nor am I into catfighting.

However, I do think it's interesting that the term "cat fight" is usually used for as code language for certain types of human combat, while "dog fight" generally means canine combat. Well in World War II it meant aerial combat, but that use seems to be fading. Anyway, when was the last time you heard about urban cat fight problems or police raids on catfighting rings?

This is just another reason why cats and dogs should be treated separately. And this post is about dogs, especially the case of Buddy, the ill-fated chocolate lab who never made it out of the Clinton administration alive.

Yes, it's true. This sad tale has all the telltale signs of another conspiracy, and another coverup.

Ann Althouse linked a 2001 Mickey Kaus piece titled Who Killed Buddy? which meticulously examines the many strange and suspicious (and unaccounted-for) circumstances surrounding what ought to be called "The Strange Death of Buddy." People who want to read the ultimate spine-tingling political chiller should take the time to go read "THE NINE SUSPICIOUS FACTS ABOUT BUDDY'S DEATH."

I won't go through them all, but here's one of the most damning facts, plus Kaus's exhortation to the cowardly GOP-run Congress:

....Buddy would "pad on down to the basement of the West Wing, poking his nose into the wastebaskets outside Sidney Blumenthal's office." Yes, that Sidney Blumenthal, the partisan conspiratorialist who is so often at the center of Clintonian machinations--the same Sidney Blumenthal who had seemingly eerily anticipated last week's deadly event by writing a play about a scandal involving the president's dog. Why Blumenthal's trash, and no one else's? What did the doomed Labrador find there? Had Buddy smelled too much?

Connect the dots. It doesn't add up. No other conclusion seems even possible. Perhaps some subpoenas would help shake loose the real story. But who in Congress will step forward to do what is necessary?

While the Internet is alive with conspiracy theories about the death of Vincent Foster, there's almost nothing about Buddy. Clearly, America is a speciesist culture which cares more about lawyers than man's best friend.

Witness the double standard where it comes to sex. While Buddy's master was free to play, Buddy found himself castrated -- on the orders of Doris Day! At the time the BBC commented on this strange irony:

The United States First Pet looks likely to avoid the sexual allegations which have dogged his owner President Bill Clinton.

Buddy, the President's seven-month-old chocolate brown Labrador Retriever, is to be neutered.

Mr Clinton made the decision after consulting his vet and hearing an appeal from actress Doris Day, expressing concern that the dog would suffer health problems if he were left intact.

EVERY DOG has his day. And for Buddy the First Pooch it's Doris. Last week, Doris Day wrote to President Clinton demanding that he be neutered - the dog, that is. Of all the potential perils the modern world has to offer, the possibility that Doris Day will publicly call for your castration must rank as pretty remote. Nonetheless, Buddy's perky blonde nemesis is insistent. If the President's chocolate labrador were to be left intact, she says, he would be liable to prostate problems which might cause embarrassing urinary accidents on grand White House occasions.

[...]

The poor mutt is clearly labouring under a great deal of strain. Buddy really is this man's best friend - the last remaining FOB (Friend of Bill), the only one who can't be subpoenaed. And, like so many others, he's now being called on to take the bullet or, in this case, the knife - for his pal. Bill Clinton wasn't forced from office, but Web Hubbell, his Assistant Attorney-General was; Bill Clinton didn't go to jail, but James McDougal, his Whitewater partner, did; Bill Clinton won't be castrated, but Buddy's distinguishing characteristics are headed for the same shredder as Hillary's law firm billing records.

If this first couple is returned to the throne, we can expect more eunuchs and more disarmament!