Folks, I'm feeling very guilty, and I'm afraid the time has come for a painful thing called the truth.

Considering the pronouncement I made in the last post -- "I haven't known Glenn Reynolds to lie yet!" -- I think I'd better address a few remarks I've made in the past. Because, I'm beginning to suspect that Wikipedia has about as much of a sense of humor as some of the rest of the people who dislike Glenn Reynolds, and if they started really digging, they just might stumble across some of my more virulent posts, and not understand the satire.

The reason I say this is because of the pathetic attempt to malign Glenn Reynolds by picturing him wearing the "I HAD AN ABORTION" T-shirt. It was presented so out of context (and how could this be seen in context by those who don't frequent the blogosphere?) that I find myself wondering what in the world a clueless or humorless person might think. Certainly, this image of a man proclaiming he's had an abortion might not inspire, er, confidence among the ranks of the clueless.

There's nothing in Wikipedia to indicate that Glenn Reynolds is one of the finest humorists in the blogosphere, and without knowing that, you might think he's, well, I don't know what you might think!

A robotically logical person, knowing he's a man, might conclude he was a liar, even a psychopath. A more intellectually sophisticated, more paranoid person might just be able to perceive that the T-shirt was not meant as a literal statement of truth, but was intended to satirize the abortion issue from a sexist viewpoint (possibly with an anti-abortion agenda in mind). A really clever person might suspect Glenn Reynolds of being some sort of comedian, but even then, they'd be wrong to assume he ever wore the shirt. Only a blog-frequenter, however, would know that it was an airbrush from Allah.

That's the problem with superficially offering apparent facts without explanation or background. I see that Wikipedia has now had time to correct adjust the initial entry, and links to this discussion page.

But there's one extremely glaring exception.

WHERE THE HELL IS THE MENTION OF HUMOR?

Here's Glenn Reynolds' take on the current flap:

I mean, it's not as bad as Frank J.'s filthy lies, and I'd certainly ignore stuff like this if it appeared on a blog somewhere, but on the other hand, it's not exactly encyclopedia material, either. Presumably it will be corrected in time, but unlike a blog, users are unlikely to engage in repeat visits to the same entry.

It's almost impossible for me to imagine that there is anyone out there clueless enough to not get it, but here's the deep, dark, inside truth, folks:

the war, the "Puppy Blender" allegations, my "peace plan" -- all of it -- was a joke!

Not only that, I was joking when I put words in the mouth of a distinguished journalist, and had him call Glenn Reynolds "the InstaLiar"!

(My apologies to all concerned.)

I joked when I accused him of fascism and called him, (gasp!) a "pseudofascist" and (gulp!) "the Blogfuhrer!"

And I even meant this picture as a joke!

I'm really sorry, folks, and I promise that I'll never allow it to happen again. Sometimes, I forget my place, and I forget to take whatever medication I need. It pains me to admit it, but that picture actually does not show Glenn Reynolds being embraced by Mussolini! Seriously, Glenn Reynolds never knew Mussolini!

Nor was he ever called "the InstaLiar" by either Baghdad Bob or Air America (neither of whose journalistic skills I should have joked about without solid proof of my jokes)!

All of these and more were jokes. (And yes, even lies! I never meant to "celebrate diversity" either. I was just having fun! I'm sorry!)

Fortunately, Glenn Reynolds had the good sense to ignore all of my filthy lies, because you never know when they might be taken seriously.

(And if you don't realize that last sentence was a joke, I suggest sticking with Wikipedia.)