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September 09, 2003
Bloody Tuesday. Will Mars forgive me?
I have some very serious news. The gods themselves may be at war. For the past week, Mars has been knocking on my door. His planet has come the closest it has been to Earth for 60,000 years. And what have I been doing while Mars approached? I have been pushing "PEACE®." Coincidence? With a start, I awoke this morning and realized it was Tuesday. I SAID "TUESDAY!" Notice that because of my cultural background, I did not use the word all Latin countries use which derives from Mars. Our friends south of Northern California use the word "Martes" for Tuesday. (Which is pretty close to what it was called in England before the Romans lost to the Germanic tribes; Latin is "Martis," French "Mardi.") Most classical scholars will see where I am going with this, and I hope they'll bear with me. The point is, "Tuesday" is also named for a God of War, "Tiw," "Tiu" or "Tyr." When the Germanic tribes overran England and kicked the Romans out, it was obvious to everyone that Tiw had defeated Mars. So the day of Mars became the day of Tiw -- and we have had Tuesday (Tiwesdaeg) ever since. And today being Tuesday, I realized that I may have pissed off not just one god of war, but two! That's right; I mean, I thought I could handle Mars, being the smart-ass I am, but now I realize I also must come to terms with the god of Tuesday, Tyr! Why, oh why, did I not notice that it was on a Tuesday that Frank J. declared war? I have ignored numerous omens and portents from the gods, and now I am paying the price. Now, with a heavy heart, I must atone. I suffer from a very stubborn form of pride, though, and so I will not back down from the Classical Values Peace Plan®. However, I am not so reckless as to go on pissing off the gods. Recently my pro-Israel friend at Solomonia recognized the folly of pissing off gods even if you don't believe in them -- and to placate the pagan upstart Allah he actually offered to switch his religion, citing this unbelievable web site for Allah. Note: The above is one of the more psychotic web sites I have seen. DON'T MISS IT! Additional note: There is also a psychotic movement afoot in this country to stop people from using ANY of our names for days of the week! This shocking idea strikes at the heart of America's Pagan Traditions, and I promise you that here at Classical Values we will do everything we can to keep the sacred names for every day of the week. Readers (or war-watchers) who want an in-depth analysis of Tyr and Mars, side by side, should read this. A sample: The star Tir was thought to be at the top of the world axis, which "keeps the cosmic forces in polarized order," according to Ralph Metzner. Norse dragonships and merchanters steered by the stars at night, so the god Tyr was very likely associated with the ability to guide, and with the qualities immortalized in Shakespeare's phrase, "fixed and constant as the Northern star"—not necessarily a trait of Graeco-Roman Mars, who was more volatile.Hey, I am not trying to be judgmental here. The above is just one writer's opinion. But the connection of Tyr with the earth's axis convinced me that it is only fair to associate this war god with the Axis of Naughty. However, lest anyone imagine that Tyr is superior to Mars, which god is more famous? Which god kicked more ass in history? Which god do we think of when we think war? Here's more food for thought: the alchemy of consciousness transforms the bestial components of Mars to the realistic and protective qualities of Tyr.Please, don't expect me to take sides. To do so would be to side with one god over another -- something which would contravene every principle of the Classical Values blog! (And in light of the numerous, very powerful omens from both sides, I am -- alas! -- wholly unable to predict the winner. Seriously.) I have been called an appeaser before. But this time, appeasing the gods is just good common sense. What I have decided to do is honor them by forming two groups -- one for the Alliance and one for the Axis of Naughty -- and assigning the Roman God of War to the former (in keeping with the gaming spirit of this war, I will use his pinball game manifestation for the Alliance blogroll):
Ye heroic warriors! Ye champions of these two glorious gods! All are welcome here! Come visit anytime. Rest. Lick your wounds if you have suffered. Prepare for the next battle. Exchange information. (Yes, this website welcomes all spies…) And may the best god win! (Dare I say, "May both gods win?") Pax® posted by Eric on 09.09.03 at 01:14 PM |
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