I have some very serious news.

The gods themselves may be at war.

For the past week, Mars has been knocking on my door. His planet has come the closest it has been to Earth for 60,000 years.

And what have I been doing while Mars approached?

I have been pushing "PEACE®."

Coincidence?

With a start, I awoke this morning and realized it was Tuesday.

I SAID "TUESDAY!"

Notice that because of my cultural background, I did not use the word all Latin countries use which derives from Mars. Our friends south of Northern California use the word "Martes" for Tuesday. (Which is pretty close to what it was called in England before the Romans lost to the Germanic tribes; Latin is "Martis," French "Mardi.")

Most classical scholars will see where I am going with this, and I hope they'll bear with me. The point is, "Tuesday" is also named for a God of War, "Tiw," "Tiu" or "Tyr." When the Germanic tribes overran England and kicked the Romans out, it was obvious to everyone that Tiw had defeated Mars. So the day of Mars became the day of Tiw -- and we have had Tuesday (Tiwesdaeg) ever since.

And today being Tuesday, I realized that I may have pissed off not just one god of war, but two! That's right; I mean, I thought I could handle Mars, being the smart-ass I am, but now I realize I also must come to terms with the god of Tuesday, Tyr!

Why, oh why, did I not notice that it was on a Tuesday that Frank J. declared war?

I have ignored numerous omens and portents from the gods, and now I am paying the price.

Now, with a heavy heart, I must atone.

I suffer from a very stubborn form of pride, though, and so I will not back down from the Classical Values Peace Plan®. However, I am not so reckless as to go on pissing off the gods. Recently my pro-Israel friend at Solomonia recognized the folly of pissing off gods even if you don't believe in them -- and to placate the pagan upstart Allah he actually offered to switch his religion, citing this unbelievable web site for Allah.

Note: The above is one of the more psychotic web sites I have seen. DON'T MISS IT!

Additional note: There is also a psychotic movement afoot in this country to stop people from using ANY of our names for days of the week! This shocking idea strikes at the heart of America's Pagan Traditions, and I promise you that here at Classical Values we will do everything we can to keep the sacred names for every day of the week.

Readers (or war-watchers) who want an in-depth analysis of Tyr and Mars, side by side, should read this. A sample:

The star Tir was thought to be at the top of the world axis, which "keeps the cosmic forces in polarized order," according to Ralph Metzner. Norse dragonships and merchanters steered by the stars at night, so the god Tyr was very likely associated with the ability to guide, and with the qualities immortalized in Shakespeare's phrase, "fixed and constant as the Northern star"—not necessarily a trait of Graeco-Roman Mars, who was more volatile.

Norse mythology tells us that Tyr was very wise, so much so that an extremely knowledgeable man was called 'Tyr-wise.' Ares/Mars has no reputation for wisdom. A war god with power over victory in battle, Tyr was the boldest and most courageous of the Norse pantheon, so much so that a brave man who surpassed others and did not waver was called 'Tyr-valiant.'" Warriors invoked Tyr and carved his name onto their swords. His Rune, Teiwaz, resembles a sword or an arrow. Tyr is also a god of law and order, unlike the classical Mars. Tyr was the dispenser of justice—perhaps by battle if all else failed? According to Metzner (4), Tyr was associated with the Things--tribal councils where Germanic warriors debated decisions, and voted their assent by waving their spears and clanging their swords on their shields. The most famous is the Althing of Iceland. Tyr is connected to oaths, and the means by which we maintain justice and uphold the social contract. It was said that he always spoke the truth.

However, lest anyone imagine that Tyr is superior to Mars, which god is more famous? Which god kicked more ass in history? Which god do we think of when we think war?

Here's more food for thought:

the alchemy of consciousness transforms the bestial components of Mars to the realistic and protective qualities of Tyr.

Tyr is a warrior god who doesn't win all the time. Tyr is not an adolescent's fantasy of the hero. At its best, the Tyr archetype is a rational, clear-eyed adult, a warrior god with specific goals, who understands about calculated losses, the inevitability of failure, death, and the compromises and sacrifices made to uphold social contracts, law and order.

I have been called an appeaser before. But this time, appeasing the gods is just good common sense. What I have decided to do is honor them by forming two groups -- one for the Alliance and one for the Axis of Naughty -- and assigning the Roman God of War to the former (in keeping with the gaming spirit of this war, I will use his pinball game manifestation for the Alliance blogroll):

...and the Norse God of War to the latter.

That way, the war can go on, the gods will be appeased, and I can still continue to urge peace while favoring neither side. It is my prayer that both of these fine war gods will take pity on poor, blind, me -- and see to it that I bestowed with a few links.

Ye heroic warriors!

Ye champions of these two glorious gods!

All are welcome here!

Come visit anytime. Rest. Lick your wounds if you have suffered. Prepare for the next battle. Exchange information. (Yes, this website welcomes all spies…)

And may the best god win!

(Dare I say, "May both gods win?")

Pax®