the maxim should be "don't annoy the customer."

So says Glenn Reynolds, in his impassioned plea to product designers, as he note an ominous trend of machines that talk back to you, and even scold you.

And the scolding can't be turned off.

Quite incidentally, in this regard I'm probably less tolerant than Glenn. If my coffee maker were to scold me about the risks of scalding, I'd kill it. (Fortunately, my coffee maker is a five dollar thrift store special. Silent and therefore "unsafe.")

If you think appliances that scold you are bad, Glenn links to his Popular Mechanics column about an unthinkably bad idea: laywer in a box!

The Toyota's nav system, like those on many cars, displays a message every time it starts up. It reads: "CAUTION: Drive safely and obey traffic rules. Watching this screen while vehicle is in motion can lead to a serious accident ..." And so on. Before you can use the system, you have to click "Accept" on the screen. Every single time. It's as if there's a lawyer sitting in the passenger seat, shoving a liability disclaimer in your face before you can turn on the nav system. Look, I've got nothing against lawyers. I am a lawyer, and as a law professor, I produce new ones every year. But I don't want to buy a car with one built in.

This kind of insanity (which started in the 80s with seat belt alarms) a major reason why I'd never buy a new car (I never have) and why I tend to buy used things in general.

I just bought another used computer, as I like to stay a generation behind, but not two generations behind. I'm wary of new computers which you no longer own and can't control, and new software which invades your privacy, disables your old software, and installs malware without your having a damned thing to say about it.

By making new worse, the control freak gadget people are making old better,

Sheesh.

I'm actually worried that this could lead to higher prices for used merchandise.

Or, worse, the end of "thrift stores." Pretty soon the safety Nazis will lobby for new legislation against selling anything that's "unsafe." No more Goodwill, no more ebay.

You think this is paranoia? The Federal Consumer Product Safety Commission (FPSC) is already pushing anti-thrift store legislation. Can ebay and Craig's List be far behind? (And don't think the environmentalists won't join the bandwagon once they realize that older equals more "greenhouse gases.")

I'm totally with Glenn on this one:

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty--even liberty from meddling machines.

I think that few things are uglier than meddling machines, and appliances that hassle their owners. If there's one thing more degrading than being annoyed by a human, it's being annoyed by a supposedly inanimate object.

Perhaps this is why there's a conspiracy to convince people that their kindly, trusted machines -- the ones that don't scold them -- are old and ugly.

Like this picture I received in a junk email today:

I actually felt sorry for the dignified old appliance in that picture. Those machines represent a time when you could decide for yourself when to turn something on and off, and you didn't have to be told whether it was on or off. They were the silent generation -- and I hate to see them go by the wayside to be crushed and shredded in the name of a better world.

I like my old and ugly appliance, and I think it would be a crying shame to let it go away...

Hey wait! Don't go away, Mr. Unsafe Built-to-Last American Appliance! You're better than your replacement!

Can't I keep you?