Classical Values :: A turd for a turd?

A turd for a turd?

It's hard to stay with the April Fool's meme, but I'm trying.

And thanks to a regular reader with a fine blog named Elemenohpee, I got a wonderful, um, scoop. No seriously; this is the straight, well, poop!

Thief Steals Poop From Woman Walking Dog

Thu Mar 31,11:32 AM ET

SAN DIEGO - This mugger was left holding a bag he didn't really want.

Police said they were searching for a gunman who ran up to a woman while she was walking her dog Monday night and grabbed the bag she was holding. It contained poop.

When the gunman discovered what was in it, he threw it down in disgust, pointed his gun at the 32-year-old woman and demanded money, San Diego police detective Gary Hassen said.

He then aimed his .22-caliber semiautomatic at the dog, named Misty, and pulled the trigger twice but the gun didn't fire, Hassen said. The robber, who was believed to be in his 20s, ran to a waiting small, silver car and fled, police said.

I'm glad the story had a happy ending, and the dog wasn't killed. Anyone who'd shoot a dog like that belongs in one of the lowest circles of Hell. The son of a bitch is lucky he was dealing with an apparently friendly dog named Misty. Out in rural California, I knew a pit bull named "Mitzi" who wouldn't have been so kind. She developed a taste for human innards after finding a dead man who'd been struck by a train and dragged for 100 or so yards, and.... well, the details aren't in good taste. (The cops didn't arrest Mitzi or her owner, though, as they couldn't think of any charges.)

But it's just too damned bad it wasn't Mitzi this idiot tried to shoot, because canine justice would have been swift and certain. (The .22 caliber pistol would only have annoyed Mitzi, and made things worse for the gunman -- working or not!)

If I were the judge, I'd make him eat what he stole.

I guess that's retributive justice . . .

Comments

I'm reminded of the old garbage collectors' strike in NYC (late 60's early 70's IIRC)... some clever people would wrap their trash like packages and "accidently leave 'em" near the front door or in the hallway...

and being NYC, the "packages" disappeared only moments after being unattended.

:-)

Darleen · April 2, 2005 05:02 PM

I'd write "HANDLE WITH CARE" on the package.

(Wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea....)

Eric Scheie · April 2, 2005 05:20 PM

Hey thanks for the mention and keep up the great work!

Scott · April 4, 2005 03:27 AM