Last night I invented a new god, and now I am finally getting around to writing the post about it. Or, uh, him.

I refer to the brand-new god of ideological purity!

It is not the purpose of this post to discuss ideological purity in the depth it deserves, but briefly, I believe that it is at the root of more killing than almost any other type of human thought. The human need to simplify, purify, distill those odious philosophies which tell others what to do -- into ascertainable words and concepts -- proves irresistible to many. Ideological purists are the ones who mold the words and concepts, as well as maintain conformity to them by rooting out heresy. There isn't an "ism" which is not maintained by ideological purists, although not all isms were necessarily intended to end up that way. (Jesus might have been horrified at the excesses of ideological purity in his name, and who knows? So might Muhammad and Marx....)

I must give credit to One Fine Jay for encouraging -- and acccelerating -- this post. For had he not noticed my research last night, this would have languished on the back burner (like so many complicated things).

Anyway, the point here is to nominate, vote for, and elect the God of Ideological Purity.

Jay has asked me to disclose the name of the God, and, while I hate to get into prolonged guessing games, I didn't like to spoil the surprise. I told Jay he wasn't Hitler, nor Jesus, and that in fact, most Americans have never heard of this man.

But for many years, nothing happened in the Cold War without him having something to say about it. Disagreement with him could cost careers if not lives. And, as I said to Jay, he was definitely not cool or sexy!

Enough of this drivel, and on to immortality.

While it didn't take long to decide on the man himself, it took quite a bit of research time before I finally found a decent picture (probably the only one on the web) of the infamous ideologist-in-chief of the Soviet Union, Mikhail Suslov!

I had concluded that this one would be the best up with which I could come (?). (Suslov is the man partially visible just behind and to the right of Khrushchev's wife and to the left of Brezhnev.)

But in search of a good picture I kept looking, sifting through page after page of this tedious (he was at least as tedious as he was murderous) man's descriptions, biographies, mentions, ruminations. Of course, statistics....

Oh, what the hell! I know you're all dying for a short summary of the career of this dreary and nasty man and ideologue. Here's the best short write-up I could find:

Mikhail Suslov, the Politburo member who served as the party’s top watchdog over ideological matters, was a typical Stalinist. He managed to retain his position and his restrictive influence over information flows, both during and after the de-Stalinization campaign of 1956-1962. Khrushchev evidently thought Suslov would generally follow his (Khrushchev’s) lead. He was mistaken; Suslov showed himself to be a tough and resourceful character. After Khrushchev’s fall from power in 1964, Suslov gained almost total domination over Agitprop. The next party chief, Leonid Brezhnev, was too lazy and too submissive to others’ opinions to make a serious effort to curb Suslov.

Temporary Reversal
Suslov suffered a political setback in the late 1960s when he prepared official documents rehabilitating Stalin. About a hundred personalities from the Soviet cultural elite learned of this development from knowledgeable consultants and Central Committee members who did not like the idea. Writers, actors, artists, musicians, journalists, and other representatives of the intelligentsia,traditionally influential in Russian society, signed a letter to Brezhnev and the Central Committee.

Brezhnev, who did not like sharp political movements in any direction, overruled Suslov. Despite this setback, Suslov retained his Politburo seat and remained influential into the 1970s as an advocate for ideological orthodoxy. He died in 1982.

And finally, here -- the picture you've been waiting for! Lovable chap, no?

Doesn't his lovely face positively radiate ideological purity?

Suslov, at eighteen already a liquidator of Kulaks, eventually the "Hangman of Lithuania", knew whom to kill. Disagreement with him was not a good career move.

Fortunately, even guys like Suslov can make mistakes. (Well, he was getting old at the time; maybe he'd been conned.)

His biggest mistake?

Mikhail Gorbachev -- who under Suslov's austere tutelage, doubtless learned how to talk the talk! (Fortunately for Suslov, he died not long after Gorbachev's accession to the Politburo, and never had to see the irreversible damage his protégé would do to his precious ideology.)

I think it is entirely fitting that the God of Ideological Purity was guilty of such a screw-up!

Suslov's nomination (to his new post, "God of Ideological Purity") saw little debate (there was none, in fact), and he was ushered in by unanimous vote, followed by long, thunderous applause.....

(I dared not STOP clapping.)