Yes, it is definitely humor day in the news.

While I would have thought the latest Osama bin Laden tape would have contained the man's usual ravings, I was quite surprised to see that he's weighing in early on the next election -- right down to naming his favorite candidate and staking out a no-tax platform:

"People of America: the world is following your news in regards to your invasion of Iraq, for people have recently come to know that, after several years of tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there."

[...]

He goes on to call Noam Chomsky "among one of the most capable of those from your own side," and mentions global warming and "the Kyoto accord."

He also speaks to recent issues grabbing headlines in the United States, referring to "the reeling of many of you under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages; global warming and its woes..."

"To conclude," bin Laden says, "I invite you to embrace Islam." He goes on to say: "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."

However, despite his opposition to the "massive use of tax havens to shift the burden to the general population and away from the rich," according to this columnist, Chomsky has set up a trust to protect his millions from taxation:

A few years ago, Chomsky and his tax attorney (funny, I thought only rich Republicans had those) opened the Diane Chomsky Irrevocable Trust (named after his daughter) with the venerable Palmer and Dodge law firm. That fund now serves to protect his income from taxation, or as Chomsky would say, it's one of those "tax havens to shift the burden to the general population and away from the rich."

"I don't apologize for putting aside money for my children and grandchildren," said Chomsky. When Chomsky exploits loopholes, he's just being a good father. When other people do it, they're trying to stick it to the poor.

With reality like this, who needs satire?

(I guess the phony beard should have been a tipoff.... Next I suppose we'll get the fake-nose-and-glasses routine.)

MORE: Funny that I just mentioned the fake-nose-and-glasses routine! Anyway, as I'm not one to be satisfied with the official explanation of these things, I did a little research and found a vintage picture of a man identified as "Awoudi bin Alin."

Now that the picture has been content-verified, if we consider the fake, off-color beard, the deliberately misleading background, the subject's involvement in terrorist activities, military fatigues, penchant for marrying young girls, and overall striking resemblance, what more do we need for positive identification?

Certainly close enough for government work!

UPDATE: Wow. Support for the Chomsky/bin Laden ticket in totally unexpected places! Of course, Glenn insists on eminently reasonable debating terms.

DON'T MISS the Pajamas Media roundup. Every one of them is a gem; I was especially amused to see Damian Penny's prediction ("the fact that Osama seems to be repeating leftist talking points will have even more people saying it's another devious Karl Rove set-up") confirmed by Daily Kos ("Whenever 'Uncle Bin' does this, it results in renewed support and better 'numbers' for Bush...and I doubt this is merely a 'coincidence'.") If Bush somehow got Osama to endorse Chomsky, well, maybe we are doomed.

And Frank J. summarizes the key points of bin Laden's speech in a few sentences:

Kos has to get this guy as a diarist before HuffPo does.

[...]

Osama basically says those who claim this is "Bush's war" are as innocent in this as he is innocent in 9/11 (i.e., not at all). He points to the election and failure of the Democrats as proof democracy doesn't work (maybe he has a point there), he rants about corporations like some Naderite, says how bad things are for our troops to basically urge us to "support the troops by bringing them home," says "no red blood for black oil," and has the usual crap about how we should all convert to Islam despite how sucky Islamic countries are. He even makes a conservative argument for it by arguing how Islam has low low taxes (only 2.5%!).

Oh, and the the new French president, Sarkozy, gets an angry mention. Welcome to the fold! There's hope for the French yet!

MORE: Glenn has another roundup here, and I think what Don Surber's says about bin Laden ("another multi-millionaire who hates America") applies equally to Chomsky.

The multi-millionaire America hater ticket?

(I guess that's not all that original of an idea....)

MORE: I think the best line yet is this: "Osama bin Laden unleashes his inner lefty blogger...." And a metrosexual one at that. (Via Glenn Reynolds.)