So says "Dan Nender, a 1634 supporter who filed suit in Sacramento Federal Court" to have a "marble monument to service dogs, originally set to be displayed in Sacramento, California" altered.

According to the full story at the "Official News Agency" they want the statue's nuts sawed off:

[Sacramento, CA] A marble monument to service dogs, originally set to be displayed in Sacramento, California, may be on its way out of the golden state. The reason? The statue's "manhood" is still intact.

Proponents of the recently-tabled state assembly bill AB-1634, the so-called "California Healthy Pets Act", which would require that most of the state's dogs and cats over the age of 6 months be sterilized, claim that placing the image of an intact male dog on public property is harmful and sends the wrong message to California pet owners.

"Its not an appropriate display, in a state that carries out three million euthanasias a year." said Dan Nender, a 1634 supporter who filed suit in Sacramento Federal Court to have the monument altered.

Pressed about the number, since most reputable sources set that number at 400,000, Nender replied, "One is too many. Concentrate on the point I'm making, not the numbers."

The sculptor who created the piece, Fidel Marquez of Hemingford, Nebraska, has already refused to alter it. "This is ridiculous. I'll put the damn thing on my lawn before I 'neuter' it."

"Frankly, it doesn't matter what the artist wants, or for that matter whether the lawsuit succeeds." responded Nender. "This is the will of the people... and don't ask me which people, and we're going to carry it out. If this guy doesn't want to do the work himself, we'll sneak in there at night and use a Saws-All on it."

"We cannot have intact testicles on government property. As California government officials, at least the ones on our side, will attest to, Sacramento is a testicle-free zone."

Assembly Bill AB-1634 may come before the California legislature some time again in 2008, according to supporters, but in the meantime, they say they will fight the battle their way. "The ends justify the means," said Nender. Even if the means includes vandalism.

California Department of Parks, who oversee this sort of project, did not return our calls immediately, and the Governor could not be reached for comment. However, plans to erect the monument are on hold until the lawsuit is settled or dismissed.

But I regret to say that much as I love the narrative, I'm afraid the report isn't true.

Not only can I find no confirmation of it anywhere, but Googling the artist's name and hometown leads only back to the same story and the various discussion boards that have mentioned it.

Even the Canada Free Press seems to have been conned, for their earlier link to the story is now dead, although I did very much enjoy the Google cache version which adds a bit of commentary to the story.

Attention all non-Hollywood type sheriffs and law officials: They're going to tote the Kool-Aid, don the tinfoil hats and pull the heist off under cover of darkness.

"We cannot have intact testicles on government property. As California government officials, at least the one's on our side will attest to, Sacramento is a testicle-free zone," said Dean A. Ayers, of Animals C.L.U.B. Freedom. "Animal rights activist "perverts" in my book."

Meanwhile can ACLU check in to let us all know whether is it against Fido's rights to be forced to be in the same state as latter day politicians: Neutered?

Anyway, I hate it when stories that support what I think turn out to be wrong -- especially when they have all the right elements!

There is a serious side to this, and that is the growing emergence of news hoaxes and bogus news sites. Regular readers may remember "Capitol Hill Blue" and the fictitious "George Harleigh." (He didn't exist, and he was debunked, but he's still considered quotable!)

More recently, the Bussard fusion project was falsely reported by a hoax site to be funded by Governor Schwarzenegger.

Of course, the "Official News Agency" does not even pretend to be anything other than a satire site, so it would be laughable to maintain that this rises to the level of a real hoax.

It's a fake hoax, folks!

And what a pity! Because, I really enjoyed another report -- that Harry Reid kicks dogs!

[Washington, DC] Animal rights activists were up in arms Friday, as reports came in that U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Democrat from Nevada, savagely kicked a retired ranch dog lying in his path as he toured a property near Reno. Witnesses say that Senator Reid had to be forceably restrained by his staff so that caretakers could attend to the injured animal.

The dog, a mixed-breed working dog named "Pace", was taken to a local veterinary hospital where x-rays showed no broken bones but physical examination revealed substantial bruising.

"Pace is a tough dog," Mark Hassler, a ranch hand who was present at the incident, said. "He's been around the block a few times. He'll be just fine."

"On the other hand, though, that doesn't make this alright. My boss is really pissed... I have to say I'm not happy either. Pace is a member of the family here, and there was just no reason for this."

The ranch owner, and Pace's master, Phillip Dischete (pronounced dish-SHAY), would not speak to the press except to say that Senator Reid is no longer welcome on his property.

Which means that our superficial concerns over the technical truth can end up obscuring the larger truth -- which is whether the dog Harry Reid might as well have kicked might as well have had balls.