May 19, 2006
A knockout peace plan!
While it hasn't been discussed much by the mainstream media, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez is readying the country for an invasion by U.S. troops:
The Chavez government said it is preparing citizens to fight a guerrilla war to repel a possible Iraq-style invasion by U.S. troops. The Bush administration insists the invasion paranoia is nothing more than leftist saber-rattling, but for Chavez supporters the threat is real.Is there no way to avert this coming war?
At the risk of sounding like Neville Chamberlain, I'd like to offer an alternative which I think would avoid much unnecessary carnage. It's an old idea, really. Instead of having armies of two nations killing each other, why not just select two combatants, and let them engage in a legitimate boxing match?
How to do that? Certainly not by having Bush and Chavez square off in the ring! That would be unduly disruptive to the world economy. Instead, I propose letting one of Chavez's most famous supporters -- Cindy Sheehan -- duke it out with one of his most famous opponents -- Pat Robertson.
It has occurred to me that a few spoilsports might claim that this wouldn't be a fair fight, and I understand the concern because normally, men are not allowed to fight women, as they have an unfair advantage in strength, stamina, ability, etc.
But does anyone really consider the following a fair fight?
(Photoshop from Luke Gilman.)
Not fair at all. For starters, Pat Robertson is old enough to be Hugo Chavez's father.
While it's also true that Robertson at 76 is also old enough to be Cindy Sheehan's father, this is offset by the simple fact that Sheehan is a woman.
(I hate to sound sexist, but facts are facts.)
And if you ask me, she's rested, she's ready, and she appears to be the president's pick!
All things considered, I think the age difference between Sheehan and Robertson might round things out, and make this a fair fight.
I know, I know. It's seems like a silly idea. But if the pair actually consented to do this, imagine the broadcast revenues.
I'd buy a ticket.
(But alas; I don't have time for photoshopping.)
posted by Eric on 05.19.06 at 01:55 PM
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference A knockout peace plan!:
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Did you know we were readying an invasion force to occupy Venezuela? Eric at Classical Values links to a Reuters article that says Venezuelan President and party boy Hugo Chavez is "preparing citizens to fight a guerrilla war to repel a possible Iraq... [Read More] Tracked on May 19, 2006 7:11 PM
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