I was reading an article about James Kunstler and came across the following remark...

Las Vegas is the holy shrine of a very pernicious religion—which is the religion of getting something for nothing; the religion of unearned riches—which is an idea that is extremely destructive and insidious and has now spread throughout our culture and has given people the idea that earnest efforts are not required to have good outcomes.

This was by way of justifying his opinion that the town's death will be good for the country.

To hell with that noise. It's just too easy to disapprove of Las Vegas. It's so easy that I normally wouldn't even bother repeating it. Besides, who wants to sound like a sanctimonious prick? But what Kunstler said triggered a pleasurable old memory. Reason Magazine was interviewing Drew Carey and he had some amusing opinions about the city that sin built. It makes for an interesting juxtaposition...

Reason: While you're Cleveland's favorite son, you write longingly of your years living in Las Vegas, a city which many people see as the embodiment of vice and excess, of everything that's wrong with America. What do you like about Vegas?

Carey: Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there. You don't have to gamble if you don't want to. There's tons of churches in Vegas, too: You'll see a church right next to a casino. But a lot of people like gambling, so they make money off it. Nobody forces you to put money in a machine and pull the handle. But the fact is they allow it. Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you...

Extending that old interview into yet more topicality, Mr. Carey also had an opinion on Kennedy's Behaving Badly. Aptly enough, it was reached by way of substance abuse...

Reason: So why do so many people dump on Vegas?

Carey: I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box: "Be here at 9, leave at 5, we'll take care of you."
People like that cradle-to-grave concept because it says you don't have to think too much, you don't have to worry too much, because someone else is looking out for you...Why should someone else put a limit on how much fun I can have, how much I can accomplish?

We're almost to the Kennedy part. Stay the course...

Reason: I take it you favor drug legalization?

Carey: Yeah. But every time you bring that up, people always ask, "Oh, you think they should sell heroin and crack in stores?"

Sure: Smoke crack, die, get out of my way. As long as I don't have to pay for it...Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Reason: Prohibition also leads to another topic: the Kennedys.

Finally!

In an earlier draft of your book, you had an entire chapter devoted to that brood. What is it that you hate about them?

Carey: There were a lot of questions about language in the book. I said, "Look, give me some of the bad language, and I'll take out the whole Kennedy chapter." Plus, the publisher wasn't sure it would pass the lawyers. I read in USA Today that a Kennedy has never lost an election in Massachusetts.

I wrote about what it would take for a Kennedy to lose one: They bust into a bank, pistol whip the manager, fuck the teller up the ass, take turns posing for pictures. And nobody would say a thing: "Those Kennedy's are great, aren't they? I can't believe a Kennedy fucked me up the ass!" They can get away with anything.

I love it when people confound my expectations. Freedom of speech is surely one of the jewels in our civilization's crown...

Reason: You cast aspersions on celebrities who unveil dark secrets, but you also mention that you were molested as a boy and that you tried to commit suicide during your Vegas years.

Carey: The reason I mentioned that stuff is that I wanted to tell people that you can get over it, that you don't have to be embarrassed by it. I mean, I'm very well-adjusted in real life. Well, pretty well...

What I don't like are celebrities who use it as their crutch all the time, who use it as a calling card: "Hi, I'm fill-in-the-blank and I was molested." Shut up already, man. It's one thing to mention it and move on. I have two pages on being molested when I was 9 in the book, and The Globe had this big story: "Drew Carey Bombshell!" They didn't mention one thing about the chapter called "101 Big Dick Jokes."