Making idiocy turnkey ready . . .

Colby Cosh has penned the ultimate "primer on Drug War panic for morons in journalism." The list is quite comprehensive, and just about every known and unknown feature of every known or unknown drug is covered. All you need to do is identify one of the drug's features, and viola! The spin's ready to go. Here's the formula:

IF A RECREATIONAL DRUG:

  • is expensive: you can frighten people about it by arguing that the crippling costs of addiction ruin human lives.
  • is cheap: you can frighten people about it by emphasizing its "availability" to the young and the impoverished.
  • is physiologically addictive: you can frighten people about it by describing in detail the Goya-ish horrors of detox.
  • isn't physiologically addictive: you can frighten people about it by warning of the nerve-shattering psychological "crash" that invariably follows heavy use.
  • Etc. The list is quite long, and very funny.

    I love it, and I am reminded of the way a true believer in the Drug "War" will always view the statistics as justifying his position, no matter what.

  • If drug use goes down, that means we need tougher drug laws, and this is no time to let down our guard; we should redouble our efforts because by God we've got to win this thing!
  • On the other hand....

  • If drug use goes up, that means we need tougher drug laws, and this is no time to let down our guard; we should redouble our efforts because by God we've got to win this thing!
  • Which reminds me of that old Russian joke about Communism.

    Boy to babushka: "Grandma, what is the difference between Capitalism and Communism?"

    Babushka: "Under Capitalism, man exploits man! Under Communism, it's the other way around!"

    I love it when life is easy.

    posted by Eric on 08.14.05 at 05:05 PM





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    "promotes drowsiness or lassitude: you can frighten people about it by warning that legalizing it will create impaired drivers, impaired pilots, impaired helmsmen of Viking ships, etc."

    Impaired helmsmen of Viking ships?! We must never allow that! Odin forbid!

    Once there was a man
    And the man had a son.
    But the son had a fit!
    The man had a fit when he saw his son's fit.

    That fit isn't fit for anything fit,
    Said the father to the son.
    Don't take dope,
    Said the father to the son.
    No hope with dope.
    It isn't square.
    It will lead to long hair.

    The father took away the fit.
    The son had a fit when his father took away his fit.
    The father and the son
    Had a fight over the fit.
    The son killed his father.

    That fit isn't fit for anything fit,
    Said the father to the son.
    Don't take dope,
    Said the father to the son.
    No hope with dope.
    It isn't square.
    It will lead to long hair....

    ....And the electric chair.

    "Boy to babushka: "Grandma, what is the difference between Capitalism and Communism?"

    Babushka: "Under Capitalism, man exploits man! Under Communism, it's the other way around!""

    I remember that joke from back in 7th grade (1967).

    If you've never read the article 'reefer madness' by Eric Schlosser (Fast-Food nation). It's a good description of the judicial problems with the drug war, specifically the 'king-pin' sentencing laws. It's also been updated to 1/3 of the book 'reefer madness (& other stories)'.

    alchemist   ·  August 15, 2005 01:19 PM


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