June 28, 2005
Speaking of absurd comparisons . . .
Here's San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom:
"People like pit bulls, but there's a reason we don't have polar bears or mountain lions in the city."Lions and pit bulls and bears, oh my!
I see several problems with this comparison. Let's start with the polar bears. San Francisco not only has them, they run sex ads for them:
"Single white female needs mate."Before anyone starts laughing about the racist implications of the polar bear sex ad, bear in mind that some of San Francisco's other polar bears are, well, gay:
On the whole, polar bear courtships at the San Francisco Zoo have not gone smoothly.So what's with this polar bear comparison, anyway? As he made quite clear with pit bulls, the sexually intolerant Newsom wants (at minimum) to cut their balls off. Yet his government is apparently doing everything it can to force Exodus-style heterosexist breeding programs on its polar bears!
No wonder he's denying they exist.
In fairness to Newsom, he probably doesn't mean all polar bears; just wild ones. The kind that would run around loose and rifle through people's trashcans, make off with the family pet, and waylay the occasional hiker or two. Is he suggesting that existing laws don't already allow the city to deal with dogs that do that? San Francisco has leash laws, a vicious dog ordinance, a well-financed animal control agency, and packs of lawyers who'd be all too delighted to go after the owner of any dangerous dog.
The polar bear comparison, therefore, is as factually false as it is metaphorically inapt. Frankly, Bush is more like Trotsky than pit bulls are like polar bears. At least Bush and Trotsky are both members of the same species... (and please no wisecracks about that, OK?)
But what about the mountain lions? They might not be limited to the San Francisco Zoo! That's because mountain lions have already attacked and killed California hikers and there have been repeated sightings and incidents right in the San Francisco Bay Area -- including places such as San Jose, Palo Alto, and Oakland. (Perhaps they can change the name of nearby suburban Mountain View to Mountain Lion View.)
The driver -- whose name will not be released by California Fish and Game officials until their investigation is closed -- spotted what appeared to be a mountain lion behind Forbes Boulevard businesses, said police Cpl. Mike Toscano, who reported to the scene.A mite too close for Gavin Newsom's comfort, which is probably why he'd never want to acknowledge it. Because if a mountain lion was spotted in San Francisco, near a school, menacing children, do you think they'd shoot the critter dead as they would a pit bull?
I'd be surprised if they did, especially considering that when police shot a mountain lion menacing children in the San Francisco suburb of Palo Alto, instead of being thanked as heroes, they were compared to the Americans at Abu Ghraib.
I guess by Newsom's standards, that's another fair comparison.
posted by Eric on 06.28.05 at 01:10 PM
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