Developing rock solid relationships

While on the road I received an email update from HarkonnenDog about gay penguins. It seems their homosexuality is so entrenched that zoological attempts at conversion therapy have proved useless:

Trying to get three gay penguin couples back on the straight and narrow, zoo officials in the northern German town of Bremerhaven hoped Swedish penguin ladies would do the trick. So far, there's been no success.

The zoo came up with the ingenious idea of trying to convert the feathered queens by flying in some exotic birds from Scandinavia. But thus far, the boys haven't exactly been fighting for a taste of the action. On the contrary, they have shown their suitors the cold shoulder.

"The relationships were obviously too serious," zoo director Heike Kück said of the same sex penguin couples who seem to prefer sitting on stones, which serve as a replacement for the eggs they will never be able to lay, to flapping about over the evidently superfluous seductresses.

"Feathered queens" obviously flock together. And while it's true that a stone will never hatch, they're less work than a penguin hatchling. Plus, the meddlesome bureaucrats are bad enough already with the conversion therapy. Does anyone really think they'd leave child raising to the parents?

I think the bureaucrats ought to let them keep the stone eggs. If they must engage in anthropormorphic antics, they could always name one of them "Pebbles."

Years ago I had a beautiful pair of albino Oscars (Astronotus ocellatus) I'd raised together in the hope they'd breed. They did the mating dance, and they even laid eggs and went through the protecting rituals. Unfortunately, the "male" never fertilized the eggs, and as it turned out, I had a lesbian couple. They were completely bonded as a pair though, and had I attempted to introduce an intruder, they'd have killed him immediately. Oscars are remarkably intelligent fish, and they bond for life. These bonds are so strong that if the fish are separated, they'll often die of depression. It killed me to have to part with the lesbian Oscars (somehow that sounds like a special award), but I found a woman who agreed never to separate them. I think that whether in animals or people, bonding is as important as (if not more important than) sexuality, with the latter flowing from the former at least as often as the other way around. It makes sense, because bonding survives even when sexuality withers away from disease or old age. It begs the question of labels.

posted by Eric on 02.19.05 at 11:08 AM


I found something here about about Lesbian cats via a Google search.

Thanks Steven! I always love the _style_ of your comments. And I must commend your self restraint in this case. The "p" word must have been a tough temptation to resist!

Eric Scheie   ·  February 19, 2005 1:06 PM

Dear Eric:

Thank you!

As a "Throne and Altar" Conservative, I must, however, repeat that I am absolutely intolerant of the use of the word "queen" to designate a man's man. A Queen is the royal title of a female ruler within a monarchial hierarchy founded on ancient principles or traditions of legitimacy, including, some of us would still maintain, Divine right. (Examples: Queen Hatshepsut, the Queen of All Evil) In other words, a Queen, next only to a Goddess, or as a Goddess (e.g., the Queen of Heaven: Innana, Ishtar, Isis, Spandarmat, Mary, etc,), is the Supreme Power and Embodiment of the Eternal Feminine.

A Man's Man, by contrast, is the Supreme Power and Embodiment of the Masculine, the diametrical opposite of a Queen. He may be a Prince, a Lord, or a King, even an Emperor, even a God, even the Father of All (Ra, Odin, etc.), as well as Warrior, Magician, and/or Lover, but he may never usurp the Queen's title.

The Straight, Linear, Angularity of the Male, his Upright Rod. The Sinuous, Encircling, Captivating, Curvaceousness of the Female. The difference is insuperable.

We once had gay parrots. They even got very upset at humans who came between them. They had to have line of sight to each other at all times, or they freaked. (Smart creatures. Probably afraid we'd replace one of them with a female, while they weren't looking.)

And friends report very weird goings on between their male cat and dog -- a very small dog breed -- which I must say is somewhere between amusing and shocking. Is interspecies homosexuality bestiality when they're both quadrupedes?


Portia   ·  February 21, 2005 2:11 AM

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