Sean Hackbarth discovered a wonderful all-purpose gift idea -- a genuine seventy nine cent vibrator personal massager. Hard as it is to believe at that price, it's apparently the real thing. Here's Amazon's description:

The personal massager provides you with a discreet quiet intimate massager and multiple speeds to pleasure any mood.

Sensational design control unit and body unite in flowing grandeur. Rounded forms dominate the appearance and generate harmony in style and elegance.

The control unit is optimally adapts to fit the palm of your hand.

Doctors and therapists worldwide recommend massagers as a tool for becoming more in tune with your own body's sensitivity and receptiveness.

The 6 inch personal massager also provides you with a discreet quiet vibrator and multiple speeds to pleasure any mood.

I can't think of a better gift idea -- especially for people in need. Order a dozen or more and save on shipping. Still plenty of time before Christmas!

Hmmmm....

Are batteries included? Or don't they come that way?

MORE: It turns out that Sean (in the comments to his post) is denying responsibility, and blaming Glenn Reynolds. (But the latter is mainly warning about workplace safety issues.)