As if we needed any more proof that SUVs are dangerous, I see that one of the evil things wreaked havoc right at my local Berkeley Starbucks!

An SUV driver battered his vehicle through the doors of the Starbucks at Solano and Colusa avenues Tuesday morning, scattering a dozen or more customers who leapt out of the way and jumped through open windows as he backed up and tried it again.

“He appeared to be aiming for the counter,” said Berkeley Police spokesperson Officer Joe Okies.

After the second try, the driver backed out and sped away northbound on Colusa Avenue, leaving parts of vehicle scattered inside and outside the coffee shop.

Police quickly identified a suspect, in large part because the jeep’s front bumper cover was left behind in the wreckage, complete with license plate.

Why, it was just in April that I demonstrated that SUV's can kill people without even having to be started!

Doubtless, the SUV lobby will argue that the individual driver was responsible. I say that the carnage was caused by brazen feelings clearly brought on by the presence of the SUV.

"Cars don't cause accidents; people cause accidents," claims the SUV death machine lobby.

Would a human being without an SUV have been able to do this?

Among the vehicle parts left behind were a front bumper cover, a lower front quarter panel covered in burgundy paint and the remains of a parking light.

The floor of the shop was covered with shattered glass from the front door windows the driver broke as he made his attacks. Tables and chairs were upended, the remains of the blue doors lay across the entrance, and scattered bags of chips and boxes lay where they’d fallen.

A support beam standing in front of the counter apparently saved those who were the targets of the driver’s wrath, and the force of the impact opened a crack in the stucco along the store’s Solano Avenue frontage.

“It was a miracle that no one was hit,” said Okies as he surveyed the scene. “There were at least a dozen people in here when it happened.”

Police quickly located the 40-year-old suspect and took him into custody, later releasing him to the custody of a mental health facility after it became apparent he was suffering from mental problems.

Officer Okies said the man hadn’t been arrested, though the incident has been classified as an assault with a deadly weapon “because it seemed obvious that his action were intentional and there were at least a dozen people in line at the counter.”

What will it take to restore some sanity?

SayUncle has recognized the nature of the problem as well as the need for action, and he has called for an SUV ban.

The answer is clear, we must ban them. For the children. These implements of death were only designed for one thing:

To run down as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time. Their high fuel capacity (some hold fifty gallons and are equipped with multiple fuel tanks!) only serve to let them run down more people for a longer period of time. These SUVs are often civilianized versions of military vehicles that have no place in civilized society.

For now, I'm afraid the best we can hope for is a system of background checks, a limitation on the number of SUV purchases allowed, and a waiting period.

I'm open to suggestions, of course.

If we could save just one child....

UPDATE (08/04/05): A KILLER SUV STRIKES AGAIN!:

Two children were injured, one seriously, when they were hit by an SUV driven by a 13-year-old acquaintance in Doylestown Township yesterday.

The 13-year-old boy from Doylestown Township, whose name was not released, was driving a Ford Expedition in the parking lot of an orthodontist's office where he was washing cars about 11:30 a.m., said Township Police Chief Stephen J. White. The boy lost control of the vehicle, one of the largest SUVs made, and struck an 8-year-old boy and a 4-year-old girl who were standing on the sidewalk, White said. White did not release the victims' names.