Anecdotage

My father was in the navy. My mother was in the navy. They met in the navy, and I grew up in the navy. This doesn’t make me an authority on navy life, far from it, but it does give me a wealth of anecdotes.

I was reading some recollections of John F. Kerry the other day, and suffering an irritating mental disconnect.

" a fine division officer...excellant verbal skills...a fine young officer...fitness reports were outstanding...”

How to square those reports with his ever more apparent character defects? Contrary to popular culture, the military isn’t composed entirely of idiots. Surely the signs were apparent, even thirty years ago? Did he actually have some good qualities? I would rather not change my opinion if I don't have to. Then the other shoe dropped, and an old memory surfaced.

My mother had been opining on why my father never made captain. She was always unusually forthright, a trait that, unbeknownst to her, many around her found annoying. Especially when she was right.

“Your father was a fine officer, and he always got wonderful evaluations, but he was just no good at office politics. He was stubborn that way. He figured that doing an outstanding job ought to be enough. But that’s not the way it works. Other officers would tell me that he was no good at blowing his own horn.”

“Well”, I said, “ Isn’t that the way it should work? Wasn’t he right? Your work should speak for itself.”

“Not if you want to make Captain.”

“Yeah Mom, but he got good write-ups!”

“Everyone gets good write-ups, Justin. You have to be a real screw-up to get a bad one. Nobody wants to get killed because they kept an idiot out of trouble. But even if you’re just average, you’ll get a glowing recommendation. If they REALLY like you they’ll praise you to the stars and write extra letters commending your performance. Then they’ll invite you to their cocktail parties. Your father hated cocktail parties, he never wanted us to go, but that’s where you can catch an admiral’s attention.”

Perhaps my father was smarter than he let on. My mother never did figure out that her vigorously expressed opinions may have been a career liability for him. Keeping her away from the admirals might have been a smart move, albeit at some cost. Or maybe he really just hated cocktail parties

“The thing is, Justin, you never know who you might be serving under fifteen years from now. It doesn’t pay to make enemies when you don’t have to.”

“Okay Mom, so if you’re just doing your job they say good things about you.”

“Yes.”

“And if they really, really like you, they just slather it on.”

“Like there’s no tomorrow.”

“What if you’re not an outright failure, but they just don’t like you?”

“Lukewarm praise and a fast transfer. They get to be someone else’s problem.”

And how, Mom!



posted by Justin on 08.25.04 at 04:58 PM





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Comments

Good post.

James

James R. Rummel   ·  August 25, 2004 05:38 PM

Words of wisdom. And here's a tip from me....

Never talk about the following topics if you want to get invited to the cool cocktail parties:

-- Ruby Ridge
-- Waco assault
-- Oklahoma City blast
-- Lingering questions about Watergate
-- Vincent Foster

Eric Scheie   ·  August 25, 2004 06:23 PM

More cocktail party killers:

-- Hiss was guilty
-- The Rosenbergs were guilty
-- Owen Lattimore was guilty
-- McCarthy was right
-- Affirmative action is racist
-- Gun control is racist
-- Islam is not a Religion of Peace



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