Santa's coming! What more proof do you want?

This is Christmas eve, and that last post was a tad dreary.

I want to move to something over which the most sincere and intelligent minds can differ, but on which we ought to be able to find common ground. So bear with me, OK?

I refer to the ongoing, ageless dispute over the existence of Santa Claus:

You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign there is no Santa Claus.

The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no
proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

The author concludes that Santa Claus is real, and is one of the immortals:
Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia,
nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will
continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
I wouldn't try to make a child disbelieve in Santa Claus!

I think adults have every right to believe in him too!

Besides, the existence of Santa Claus is not only an article of faith for some, but it has been proven logically for all. Somewhat long, but as the saying goes, "it's well worth the read." (Who said that?)

And that was just logic! Here's some hard, cold science brought to bear:

If you apply Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle to calculating Santa Claus 's position, in any moment of Christmas Eve, is extremely imprecise. In other words, it is stumped on the surface of the earth, in a way similar to the electron it is stumped at a certain distance of the nucleus of the atom. Therefore, Santa literally can be everywhere in a given moment. Lastly, the relative speed of the reindeers during brief time periods make it possible that, in certain cases, they arrive in some places before leaving the north pole. Santa Claus, in other words, assumes during brief periods of time the characteristics of the tachyon.

We agree that the existence of tachyons is not yet proven and is hypothetical, but the same thing happens with the black holes, and yet nobody doubts their existence. Consequently, it is perfectly possible that Santa Claus exists and distributes all the gifts on Christmas Eve!!

Hey, if science, religion, and logic are so close to agreement, it's good enough for me!

Advantage, Santa!

posted by Eric on 12.24.03 at 07:37 PM





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Comments

Steven Malcolm Anderson   ·  December 25, 2003 01:19 AM

Merry Christmas to you Steven!

Eric Scheie   ·  December 25, 2003 11:23 AM


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