Praise the Lord, and pass the insulation!

80 degrees in November! I'll say one thing: Bush might not have delivered on anything else, but for the Global Warming alone he deserved my vote!

Is America starved for religion? Apparently, CBS thinks so. Recently, New Jersey child protective authorities found three children who were clearly being starved, the "four sons, who range in age from 9 to 19 and weighed 136 pounds together, to the point that they ate insulation and gnawed on furniture." Here's the original story:

....[D]octors had run bone tests and determined that malnourishment was the central cause of the boys' condition.

For the boys, all of them under 50 pounds when they arrived at the hospital, it was their first visit with a doctor in four or five years.

Since then, each brother has gained about six pounds. "That's a pretty strong indication something wasn't right," said a person involved.

Well forget that! It turns out that these people went to church, and the church approves of their child-raising methods. They are innocent! the glorious church declares, so now CBS has decided to produce their story.

"Praise God!" someone called from the sobbing, keening crush of Jacksons being watched by dozens of church members.
What a wonderful country this is! Starved children one week, the work of the Lord the next!

Why, they even have a web site!

I'll tell you, if there's one thing we don't need, it's facts.

Why am I blogging about this stupid story? Because there is no such thing as the news anymore, and so I might as well resort to satire.

Praise the Lord!

(And please pass the insulation, Mommy!)

posted by Eric on 11.03.03 at 07:07 AM





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