Via Pajamas Media, I see that San Francisco (which plans to cut down its beautiful Eucalyptus groves and "restore" its parks to their "native" sand dune status) is not alone. Loony tune legislation is being proposed in a number of congressional bills which would enable the Nature Nazis to hunt down and eradicate foreign vermin anywhere. Amy Ridenour has the scoop:

Soybeans, kiwi fruit, wheat and nearly all cattle are examples of invasive species. And several states such as Maryland, Vermont, California and South Dakota honor non-native species as their State Flower or State Birds. "In fact, invasives have become such a common part of our environment, culture and even diet that we don't think about them," writes Gattuso.

However, these benefits have not prevented Congress from introducing numerous bills that assign billions of tax dollars to eradicate or otherwise to prevent the spread of invasives. Under some lawmakers' plans, government would have sweeping new authority to screen out non-native species and to regulate these species where they exist - on private as well as public lands.

"The 'invasive species' bills pending in Congress are not based on science but rather assume all non-indigenous species are harmful unless proven otherwise," writes Gattuso. "The key problem with government's handling of the issue of non-natives is that it takes a simplistic view, bundling all the species together and exaggerating their effects on ecosystems and commercialism."

More government intrusion via academic activism -- all paid for at taxpayers expense, of course. (Opponents of such legislation will doubtless be called "anti-environment," and so on.)

Coco is now doubly worried, because the newest eliminationist threat comes on the heels of proposed race laws which would enable canine race police to hunt down suspect breeds of dogs. If we consider that all dogs are descended from the wolf, but were bred by man, at some point Canis familiaris arose as a new "man-made" breed. Might this mean that all dogs are in fact invasive species?

Might the additional creation of suspect "breeds" within this species place Coco on what amounts to a form of double secret probation?

In this respect, Coco was fascinated by another Pajamas Media linked post about doggie disguise kits.

I checked out the originating link, and it involves poodle drag for the muscular macho breeds. Transbreedism? Right now the outfits come only in black, and you have to dye your dog to match. Must be hot in the summer.

I have to say, it'll take some work getting Coco into this:

Sheesh!

We are approaching a point where no one will be left alone.

Also from Pajamas Media, I see that in order to keep up with the changing times, bloggers are now having to hire press secretaries.

Hmmmm.....

Considering the invasive laws against almost everything, perhaps I can save Coco by designating her as the official Classical Values press secretary. Her secretarial skills are unsurpassed, and as I've pointed out before, she's already a faxer who doubles as a shredder (it all depends on her "spin" of things):

Obviously, she can shred bad legislation, bad comments, or anything she dislikes, and fax what she likes.

And where else could I find a press secretary who's on duty 24 hours a day and who even sleeps watchfully?

UPDATE: Uh oh! Glenn Reynolds has declared that the hiring of press secretaries seems "self-infatuated to me, even by the rather relaxed standards of the blogosphere."

Well, I've always described my standards as low. But "relaxed" definitely has a more relaxed ring to it. Should raise lower the bar here from "low" to "relaxed"?

Hmmmph! Try as I might, I just can't figure out whether that would represent a lowering of standards or a relaxation of them.

And if I retract my offer to Coco, what would that do to my already low standards of self disinfatuation?

Is relaxed lower than low?

Should I relax?