July 21, 2005
This Carnival has many emanations from its penumbra!
The format of this week's Carnival of the Vanities is one of the wittiest I've seen. Host Matt Barr has ingeniously managed to enliste the help of the Supreme Court, by dividing the vast carnival into nine categories, each one presided over one of the justices. I so much enjoyed Matt's characterizations of the justices that I can't resist linking and quoting Matt's description of each one.
So here come de judges!
Associate Justice Anthony M. Kennedy is first up. The result of President Reagan pointing blindfolded at the Martindale-Hubbell directory after Robert Bork was borked and Douglas Ginsburg withdrew, AMK has delighted liberty-lovers and folks on the left with his opinions bolstering gay rights in Colorado, striking down a Texas law against sodomy, and voting for the death penalty for offenders who committed their crimes while 17 years old before he voted against it.
Associate Justice David Hackett Souter, most famous for lending his name to the popular conservative expression "Alberto Gonzalez would be another Souter!", wrote the majority opinion in the recent Ten Commandments case that said you can't display them at the courthouse. No, not the one that said you can display them outside the courthouse, the other one. In response to Justice Souter's vote in the Kelo eminent domain case, a developer wanted the New Hampshire town where he lives to seize his house so the developer could build the "Lost Liberty Hotel." As with many libertarian ideas in America, nobody ever really followed through.(A crying shame, if you ask me.)
Stephen G. Breyer will be the most junior member of the Court until Justice O'Connor's replacement is confirmed, sometime in 2007. As a Senate aide, Breyer helped draft the federal sentencing guidelines, which he then voted as a Justice to make advisory instead of mandatory. After all that work! He is distinguished recently by being the only Justice in both 5-4 majorities in the Ten Commandments cases -- one ok, one not ok -- and crafting what is expected to become the new four-pronged test for determining if religious displays on public property square with the Constitution. As Justice Breyer put it in a concurring opinion:Hmmmm.... Never knew a judge was allowed to cite his mother. But I'm not complaining! Because, after all, Justice Breyer was kind enough to cite my apology for misusing loaded language.My mother told me to pick the very best one, and you are not it.
John Paul Stevens is the most senior Associate Justice (thanks, Parableman!) of the Court. It follows he's done the most damage! Justice Stevens wrote the majority opinion in Kelo v. New London, the eminent domain case, and Raich v. Gonzalez, the medical marijuana case, and co-authored one of the majority opinions (the philosophy of this Court is that if you can settle something in one opinion, you're not trying hard enough!) in McConnell v. F.E.C., the campaign finance reform case. But he'll be most fondly remembered for settling the thorny question of whether prohibiting carts on golf courses violates the Constitution of the United States. It does. Wouldn't you know!
Chief Justice Rehnquist. Still here! As a Justice, legal history will remember WHR for reining in Congress' power under the Commerce Clause, beefing up state sovereign immunity, and protecting First Amendment freedom of association from the threat of dudes kissing. He also opposes mandatory retirement. Obviously! As a Chief, the Chief will be remembered as an efficient, consensus building administrator, a fastidious tradition follower, a wise and respected overseer of a presidential impeachment, and general in the federalist revolution. (What federalist revolution? That's a whole separate post!) Justice Blackmun famously wrote, "I cannot remain on this Court forever." Rehnquist is going to try!Perhaps life extension will be safe?
Associate Justice Clarence Thomas is not yet exactly known for his majority opinions. (But what about... the Excessive Fines clause case? You see what I'm saying!) But he is becoming a darling of libertarians for his thoughtful dissents in cases like Kelo v. New London and concurring opinions like the one urging wholesale review of the Court's Commerce Clause jurisprudence in U.S. v. Lopez. Not to mention the Coke can thing! Many people (like these two, by way of example) would like to see CT elevated to Chief. Over Rehnquist's dead body!
Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg -- International Jurist of Mystery -- can wear a hat, don't you think! Former general counsel for the ACLU, Justice Ginsburg is the main character in a silly story making the rounds that she was personally recommended for the job by conservative Senator Orrin Hatch. Major opinions: Well, she wrote one in Bush v. Gore, but who didn't?
Associate Justice Antonin Scalia has authored important majority opinions boosting our rights under the First Amendment (like R.A.V. v. St. Paul and Republican Party of Minnesota v. White), Fourth Amendment (such as Kyllo v. U.S.) and Sixth Amendment (like Blakely v. Washington), but more importantly, is a theocratic tyrant who wants to kill pregnant women and turn the rest of the country over to Pope Nazi McHitlerburton for reprogramming. Whichever! In terms of opinion authorship, Justice Scalia is still best known for his dissents, wherein he does things like accuse a majority of his brethren of having "a character of almost czarist arrogance." What does he really think? Who knows! He's inscrutable.
Impending Former Associate Justice Sandra Day O'Connor arrived at her decision to retire after thoughtful, careful consideration of the particular facts of her case, applying a six-pronged retirement test and noting that if you ask her again in 25 years, she will probably unretire.
I think Matt Barr (who has a law degree and works in the real estate appraisal and mortgage industry) has done so much work that he deserves a place on the court himself.
posted by Eric on 07.21.05 at 12:06 PM
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