I've just returned from a secret indoctrination session and am just a few short steps from Neo-Condom. Is that the right term? Hmm ... I have been Neo-Condemned. No, that's not it either. Perhaps I've joined the Neo-Conspiracy.

Or so some of our readers would like to think.

I did attend a talk on the value of a classical education in the strictest sense of the phrase.

Most attendees seemed to be real human beings with lives beyond battles over cultural turf and politics, people who had some interest in the subject whether professional or personal.

But then there was the woman whose every movement seemed planned or controlled from a remote location, everything from the turn of a lip or the tilt of a head, to the awkward pat on an arm: the Stepford homeshooler in a flower print dress. She never seemed to blink. It's as though unwarranted self-confidence and a sense of moral superiority were inversely proportional to one's lachrymal needs.

In league with her was the man fighting the good fight in the culture war against the nefarious THEY:

They say there's no such thing as absolute truth but they pretend what they're teaching you is absolute. You can't know anything without God. All knowledge comes through God. It's that simple. How can you know anything that doesn't come from God? What they're teaching you is built on Christian principles, but they remove Christianity, see?

Not really.

Oh, we're fighting the culture, alright. We definitely go against the grain! We're fighing the culture one step at a time.

They kept each other occupied while the rest of us enjoyed the food and avoided making eye contact. It was a difficult task though, when they've got eyes like this:

I imagine many others wondered with me whether we really had anything in common.