Saving a spammer? Are you kidding?

I don't usually comment on spam, but this morning I received an unusual form of spam: an email complaining about a very typical form of spam which is probably familiar to most readers:

Dear Mr. [Name Deleted],

I am copying all of the parties, to whom you sent the attached e-mail. Over the past years, many Americans have been scammed via pleas such as this one. Someone like you gets an American to Nigeria, follows through with the transaction, and the American is arrested for money laundering, and has to pay more corrupt lawyers, and other officials to stay out of jail. What you are doing is highly immoral, and you know it. How dare you do it in the name of Christ! There is no such thing as free money. One must work for it in an honest way. I will be in prayer for your soul.


The Reverend Doctor [Name Deleted]
Well, I've seen spam in the name of Allah, spam in the name of Jesus, spam resorting to flattery, illness, spam claiming honesty, but this is the first time I've received a spam attacking spam.

Or it it spam to complain about spam to all the people whose names were gleaned from the spammer's list? Most likely, the new spammer would disagree that this new unsolicited email constitutes spam, because no money is being solicited. Does that change anything? It's still an unwanted email, and I'd be willing to bet that some people would dislike it more than the original spam. Does that matter?

Isn't it free speech?

What bothers me about this is the supreme foolishness involved. It's one thing to take spam so seriously as to write to all the people on the spammer's email list. But actually praying for the soul of the spammer?

What could be less important than the soul of a spammer?

They belong in Hell, and I'll never be caught praying for them. Even if I did such a foolish thing, I'd keep it to myself.

I'm not going to dignify the email and create more spam by answering it, nor will I use the reverend doctor's name. But why would anyone would do such a thing as pray for a spammer? I don't mean to attack anyone's religion, but is it reasonable of me to ask whether (assuming a belief in God), if you are going to bother God by invoking his name in prayer, it shouldn't be about important things? Spammers are simply criminals and con artists who do not mean what they say. Sure, spammers shouldn't invoke deities, but it's just the way they are. Insincere and dishonest, like millions of other crooks.

I can't think of a group less deserving of prayer.

But is praying for the spammer really the reverend doctor's point? I don't know, but I suspect that the spammer is only the ostensible audience, and that the intended audience consists of the people who were targeted by the original spam -- people who are now told that some eminently forgettable slimebag who harassed them deserves prayer because he invoked Jesus.

Spam only begets spam. Without invoking the name of Jesus, isn't it enough?

(text of original spam)

Dear Beloved in Christ,

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and
It is by the grace of God that I received Christ,
knowing the truth and the truth have set me free.
Having known the truth, I had no choice than to do
what is lawful and right in the sight
of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for
witness of God is mercy and glory upon my life.
I have the pleasure to share my testimony with you,
having seen your contact from the Internet.
I am Barrister xxxxxxx, the legal adviser to late Mr.
and Mrs.Edward Carr, expertriate that lived in my
Country Nigeria for 25 years before they both died in
a plane crash sometimes in year 2000. These couples
were good Christians.They so dedicated their lives to
God but they had no child till they died.
Throughout their stay in my country, they acquired a
lot of properties like lands,houses, properties,
etc.As their legal adviser, before their death, the
husband Mr.Carr instructed me to write his WILL.
Because they had no child, they dedicated their wealth
to God.
According to the WILL, the properties have to be sold
and the money be given out to a ministry for the work
of God. As their legal adviser, all the documents for
the properties were in my care. He gave me the
authority to sell the properties and give out the fund
to the Ministries
for the work of God.
In short, I sold all the properties after their death,
as instructed by Mr.Edward Carr before his death. And
as matter of fact, after I sold all their properties,
I realized more than $6,200,000.00 (Six million US.
dollars plus), and what supposed to be the percentage
interest of my legal fee was firstly deducted by me
out of the total amount realized from the sold
properties, this was base on the initial agreement
between me and the owner of the properties before his
Therefore the total amount left to be invested into
God's work as instructed by the owner is
$6,000,000.00 (Six million US dollars) only. But
Instead of giving the main fund out for the work of
God then, as initially instructed to me by the owner
before his death. Therefore, I converted the fund to
myself with the intention of investing the fund abroad
for my personal use instead of giving the money out as
intructed by the owner before his death.
I was afraid of putting the fund in the Bank, because
I have to give account to the bank on how I got the
money. I then packaged the fund in consignments and
deposited the consignments with a security company. I
did not want the management of the Security Company to
know the content of the consignments, therefore I
registered the consignment as Diplomatic consignment
while the contents of the consignments was declared as
Gold Bars. And upon my authority given to the
security company, the consignment has since been
airlifted to their affiliated security company in
overseas. Now the affiliated security company overseas
believes that the contents of the consignment
deposited with them was Gold Bars.
However, I later had encounter with Christ when Pastor
Benny Hinn was preaching on television concerning
Ananias and Saphira in Acts 5:1-11. After hearing the
word of God, I gave my life to Christ and became a
born again Christian. As a born again Christian, I
started reading my bible and one day, the Lord opened
my eyes to Ezekiel 33: 18 and 19 where the word of God
says:"When the righteous stops doing good,and starts
doing evil,he will die for it.when someone evil gives
up sinning and does what is right and good he has
saved his life".

>From the scripture, I discovered that the only way I
could have peace in my life is to do what is lawful
and right by giving out the fund as instructed for the
work of God by the owner before his death.
I have asked God for forgiveness and I know that God
have forgiven me. But I have to do what is lawful and
right in the sight of God by giving out the fund to
the chosen ministry for the purpose of God's work as
instructed by the owner before his death.

After my fasting and prayers, I asked God to make his
choice and direct me to a honest Christian or the
chosen ministry that deserves this fund by his Grace.
I then came across your address on the Internet as I
was browsing through a Christian site, and as a matter
of fact, it is not only you or your ministry that I
picked on the Christian site initially, but after my
fervent prayer over it, then you were nominated to me
through divine revelation from God, so these are how I
received such a divine revelation from the Lord,and
that is how I got your contact information, and I then
decided to contact you for the fund to be used wisely
for things that will glorify the name of God.
I have notified the Security Company where I deposited
the consignments that contained the fund, that I will
soon move out the consignment from their company and
the affiliated security company overseas has since
been waiting for me to come and clear the consignment
from their company.
So if you know that you will use this fund honestly
and wisely for the things that will glorify God's
name, then do urgently contact me first through this
my email address(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) only and
the details will be given to you on how you will be
able to receive the fund in your country through the
affiliated security company in overseas
You should also forward to me your telephone and fax
number for easy communication and to fax you the
documents concerning the consignments.
Your prompt response will be highly appreciated and
May the peace of the Lord be with you for ever.
Yours in Christ,
xxxxx xxxxxx
please reply to my mail box xxxxxxxxxxx

posted by Eric on 05.24.05 at 09:33 AM


We pray for the souls of spammers (when we're being good and conscientious) that they will come to know the error of their ways. The original spammer is doubling his sin by invoking the name of Christ to rob people - so this guy will be in a world of hurt when he's gotta look Jesus in the eye. An eternal world of hurt.

Prayers for thug and scum souls accomplishes the following:

If answered - if the vermin is open to it - he stops being a thug or scum, and the world becomes a better place.

If the former thug is lucky and/or smart and/or blessed, he receives punishment in this (temporary) world instead of the next (eternal)world.

& if the prayer is unanswered - if the thug is too entrenched in his vile ways - then the prayer will add some additional lumps of coal to his head in the hereafter.

You're not kidding yourself that we'd be praying for mercy or success for this guy, are you? You sweet little innocent thing.

Well - take what I say about Christianity with a grain of salt. I'm a Christian, but sometimes rather a lousy one, at least by conventional standards. Truth is, knowing from hard experience how embarrassing it is to turn to Christ and then realize what a jackass one has been, plus having that vindictive streak that is part of the natural woman, I get a kick thinking about the mental agonies spammers will through if they ever acquire a conscience.

Me, I'd give the good reverend (spammer b?) the benefit of the doubt and figure he just got brand-new shiney internet access and email, and doesn't know about 'reply' vs 'reply-all.' Happens more than you'd think.

If the rev sends a second one that's anything but an apology, I will pray for the reverend's wretched soul.


Persnickety   ·  May 24, 2005 3:03 PM

Go and Spam no more?

Gary and the Samoyeds   ·  May 24, 2005 8:39 PM

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