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May 12, 2005
Pure Fun
Only one week to go till the final Star Wars movie. How the time flew. Seems like only yesterday it was 1977. In honor of the historic event we'll hit a few Star Wars related sites, just for the hell of it. First up, The Darth Side. Some people don't think it's funny. To help you make up your minds, here's an abridged excerpt. Needless to say, read the whole thing. Boba Fett is one of the few people with whom I will share a meal. He was horribly disfigured by acid years ago, and I feel we hold a bond in common in that respect. He has never so much as winced at the ghastly noises that come through my ventilator while I chew, because he is a gentleman. Anything at all? Try another. At the top of my game. Capturing Cloud City. Breaking Solo's will. Still nothing? Cheez, you're a tough audience. Try this one. "Have you tried one of these Ewoks, m'lord?" asked Admiral Piett, offering me a crisp kebab. "Delectable!" Best served cold is what I've always heard. How I loathed the furry little brutes. But they got theirs. Hushed up it was, but still inevitable. I blame the laws of physics. What happens when you detonate a spherical metal honeycomb over five hundred miles wide just above the atmosphere of a habitable world? Regardless of specifics, the world won't remain habitable for long. Yes. It's The Endor Holocaust. Blow up a Death Star. Ruin the world it's parked next to. The dinosaurs could tell you a thing or two... No animal larger than a few kilograms and incapable of long sheltered hibernation could survive the Endorian calamity. The air might even have been poisoned and deoxygenated for a few years until simple plant life could return to growth. If so then it is possible that all animal life perished. In any case any ewok on the surface who was not equipped with impressive high-technology survival gear and a nuclear shelter must have died. You have to love the purity and focus of a dedicated Star Wars fan. Diana Schaub should take notes. If you're going to cite science fiction, you should bloody well do your homework. Next up is a site that does that homework and then asks for the extra credit assignment. Michael Wong asks whether or not the Federation could take the Empire in a fair fight. With a name like Stardestroyer.net, I think you can all guess the answer. Caprica and those other eleven colonies aren't even in the semi-finals. Mr. Wong has done an amazingly detailed job. Here's an example... The absolute lower limit for the gravitational binding energy of an Earth-like planet is 2.2E32 joules (click here for the derivation of this figure). There are many different ways to damage a planet, but you can quite literally slice, dice, melt, or vaporize a planet without destroying it. The only way to destroy it is to scatter its mass at incredible speed, so that gravitational forces cannot re-assemble it. Which should be definitive enough for anyone. The squirming Federation Cultists may refuse to accept defeat, but their rebuttals are less rigorous. Time to move on and leave Star Wars behind us. I'm very pleased to mention that J. Storrs Hall has a new book out. Josh used to moderate the old sci.nanotech newsgroup (happier times) and wrote a number of interesting essays on various speculative topics, such as flying cars, utility fog, and ethics for machines. His notion for a high volume space launcher never really got the exposure it deserved, but since you need construction diamond in vast quantities to make it work, we still have plenty of time. I actually prefer it over space elevators. It would be sturdy and durable. Being a cock-eyed optimist, I've enjoyed everything Josh has ever written. Bring back the fun future. In fact, most any of his stuff would make a fine addition to The Carnival of Tomorrow over at The Speculist. Hint, hint. And as long as we're talking about The Speculist, I should mention that they are offering an early review of Joel Garreau's new book, Radical Evolution. Radical Evolution is a gold mine of information about coming technology. I especially enjoyed the section on DARPA. Just a quick example: Garreau mentions DARPA's "Unconventional Pathogen Countermeasures" program. The goal of this project is to create super-soldiers that are resistant to all disease. Check out the entire review. This one sounds good. Over and out. FURTHER THOUGHTS: Mr. Wong has put his finger on at least a couple of the reasons why I find the Star Trek universe an uncongenial role model. The Federation is a communist polity. Goodbye, Wall Street: The concept of an investment portfolio is so alien to them that when a frozen 20th century tycoon was thawed out in "The Neutral Zone", Picard was completely dumbfounded at the man's desire to check on his portfolio. He couldn't even understand the concept, and complained that he couldn't understand what the man was talking about! A palpable hit. And weren't Picard and Sisko just a little too fond of busting freighter pilots for hauling contraband? What about the Prime Directive, Ben? Vin Suprynowicz had much the same thing to say a few years ago. I went looking for "Where Are The Federation Death Camps?" and found this instead... But inevitably, a universe concocted for us during the administration of Lyndon Johnson must wear at the edges, irrevocably betraying its socialist/utopian roots. "The Prime Directive doesn't apply, Bones. They're not a living, growing culture." posted by Justin on 05.12.05 at 07:50 PM |
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Well, I can certainly take a hint. We're all huge Josh Hall fans over at the Spec. We will definitely make sure he gets his overdue mention in an upcoming carnival.