Puffery

The Beastly Overlord has left me with strict marching orders, and in the strangest tone of voice, too. It was a painfully self-cancelling mixture of virile, manly authority and unseemly whining.

“I’m counting on you and Varius to pick up the slack. Try to produce one new post per day. At least one. Two would be better yet. I know I can count on him, but what about you? Don’t you think it’s about time you started pulling your own weight around here.” He actually had the nerve to scratch his chin at me while he spoke. How I hate that. Then he squinched up his eyes like a “Precious Moments” Child and said “Pleeeeeze!!”

Well, how to respond to that? One immediately tempting rejoinder would simply have been. “Bite me! I know where you live!”

I guess he thinks I’ll just pity him or something, and start grinding out product.

Well, I’m here to tell you, it’ll be a cold day when that happens. Ma Case didn’t raise her boy to just ”roll over” for The Man. If you know what I mean. Plus, I’ve got quality control issues.

On the other hand, he did say “ Pleeeeeze!!”

Expect a couple of short puff pieces over the next few days. And maybe some pap, too

Mmmmm. Pap.

On a more serious note, I got three, count em’, THREE congratulatory comments for pointing people to “Iragwarwrong”, a post that took all of five minutes to slap together. Granted, the guy is good. But for my agonizing effort on that behemoth Kass post I get what? Not a single negative comment, is what. Where is all my hate mail? D.F. Moore’s response to the piece was so decent and good natured and thoughtful that I’ve been unwillingly raised to a more elevated level of discourse. Damn.

Mr. Moore should be aware that I am currently working on a Pointed but Fair Rejoinder.


posted by Justin on 08.16.04 at 07:30 PM





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Comments

Puff pieces belong on the dog blog!

Your secret admirer   ·  August 16, 2004 09:29 PM

No time for a post, but thanks for the precious moment. And how precious it is! I'm nitrogen soaked and falling asleep, but glad you're puffed and puffing.....

I'll have you know I'm a valid human being, attempting to make contact. Tears welled up in my squinched eyes, and burst forth all over the dermatitis on my overscratched chin -- all because of the unkind, insensitive, and highly personal things you said there.

As to your new stem cell pal, the one who's being "decent, good natured and thoughtful" and who's raised you to a more elevated level of discourse, just go on giving him hell in a civil manner!

But hey, don't feel bad about "quality control issues." I've been having 'em for well over a year!

"Iraqwarwrong" is hilarious, by the way!

Puff on!

Eric Scheie   ·  August 17, 2004 10:12 PM

Okay, Justin. Next time I promise to do better and lay on some of the vitriol :-)

D.F. Moore   ·  August 17, 2004 10:20 PM

Perhaps we can meet in the middle.

J. Case   ·  August 18, 2004 09:41 PM


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