Did you ever want to know your "Superhero Identity"? I didn't, but this test found it for me, and it's Friday, Online Test Day at Classical Values, where each week I share my innermost angst, and bare my most embarrassing truths.
Do heroes get to be racists? I'm not sure, but I found a rather fun test with the provocative title of "What Kind of Racist are You?" and I'm the kind of racist who gets away with being racist: the Minority Racist!
Well, if I am a minority racist, then what minority am I? A turtle, apparently. According to this test from Jay Solo, I'm "CRUSH, the wave-riding turtle and master of philosophy."
I'd like to just retreat into my shell and ponder the meaning of life.....
Except today I am supposed to be driving to New Jersey!
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Last of all, via Ordinary Galoot, I found a test called "Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?" -- and the result, while true enough, just doesn't seem to address the real me:
Furnulum pani nolo.
"I don't want a toaster."
Generally, things (like this quiz) tend to tick you off. You have contemplated doing grievous bodily harm to door-to-door salesmen.
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Don?t bang your head!
How do you say, in Latin, "Hail to the Roman Empire! But please stop crucifying people."?
That racist quiz showed me a picture of Hitler, a swastika in red, and a Nazi eagle, and then told me:
"All the choiced you make spring from the assumption of racial superiority that is the foundation of your philosophy."
Hail to the superiority of the Lesbian Race!
"You can have a whole conversation consisting of acronyms and cryptic number sequences."
C.L.I.T. 4384
"You whine a ton and despite being the 'master race'"
Submit to your Dominatrix!
"all the people in your little clubs are drug addicts, latent homosexuals,"
Latent?? Latent???
"and FBI informants."
Yes. I admire J. Edgar Hoover and Inspector Efrem Zimbalist Erskine. The _style_!
"Most people find you views repugnant"
True.
"and unless you're extraordinarily handsome, witty, and charming, you have no friends."
True.