This is not a happy day, either for me or for today's online tests. While I do not feel my test results are accurate, I nonetheless present them -- in the interests of accuracy.

It's nice to know that I've been hated as long as this first test -- "Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?" -- says I have, because if I have been hated that long I can't do much to change it now.

Still, at least I can be expected to survive the coming APOCALYPSE!

Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

That kid you hated at school!

More irritating than even that kid who you took a dislike to at school, you'll live on as one of the many reasons you'll never want to go back to being a child. The annoying laugh, that needling competitiveness with everything you do, the desire to be better, meaner, first, first, first, first, first ...

Remember when you taped his buttocks together, hung him from a tree and then swung from his gonads, chanting "I am the monkey king"? Even a full scale nuclear apocalypse won't shake off the little bastard, apparently.

Link to this test courtesy of Ghost of a flea, who gets to be a Media Professional.

Kids who were hated in school never get to be Media Professionals.

Maybe I can be a Media Unprofessional?

(The Flea, by the way, got this test from the Raging Kraut, who got a really cool result in the "What gun are you?" test. Cooler than mine!)

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As if to further demonstrate how totally misunderstood I am, the next test revealed that I am an alien!

Not the extraterrestrial kind, but the South-of-the-border variety.

How MEXICAN are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

Well, that calls for a quote from Unamuno!

El hombre de carne y bueso sufre y muere. Sobre todo muere.

It sat on my hard drive so long I almost forgot the origins of the above test. (Indirectly from Clareified, originally via Glenn Reynolds.)

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Quite understandably, after all that I needed a drink, and I found one at Ordinary Galoot, whose test -- "What Drink Are You?" -- makes me a Black Velvet!

Congratulations! You're a black velvet!


What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Persnickety was tequila, which would have better suited my nationality, but go figure!