Only YOU can prevent blogicide!

I am always sorry to see a blog die, but John Jenkins now says he is bored, and has retitled his blog "ALL GONE NOW."

Reason?

"I'm bored."

I'll miss you John, so I won't say rest in peace! Perhaps your restlessness and boredom will cause you to change your mind, and perhaps you can reincarnate yourself.

David at Sketches of Strain almost did the same thing, but fortunately was resurrected.

Of course, David is now BORN AGAIN and has a brand new home. Go check it out if you haven't already.

And I hate to dwell on omens, but by way of warning I do feel obligated to point out an ominous, even hellish, development. David has uncovered a Gay Reign of Terror in the making! This truly sadistic proposal comes from a talented blogger named Fritz, and while it is intended (for now, at least) to stop the Marriage Amendment, once started, something like this could easily get out of hand:

National Bad Hair Days

Imagine what would happen if every gay hairdresser in the country secretly selected certain days on which to give all of their straight clients the worst haircuts they’ve ever had in their lives.

That’s right! Millions of women would be coming home to their husbands and boyfriends in tears. They would be in a bad mood for weeks while waiting for the bad haircut to grow out. Millions of men would be forced to wear baseball caps 24/7 or, in the worst cases, shave their heads like Matt Lauer.

And, just when everyone begins to believe the worst is over, another Bad Hair Day will claim a new set of victims. Straight people will be forced to either take their chances with their regular stylists or wait months for an appointment with the few heterosexual hairdressers in town.

Of course, those clients who are openly gay-friendly will continue to receive great haircuts. Anti-gay politicians and church leaders will soon realize that for them EVERY day is a Bad Hair Day. They will never get a decent haircut again.

Now come on, John. Don't tell me the threat of terrorism at your local hair stylist is boring! Why, it's positively hair-raising! Just TAKE A LOOK at the pictures of the atrocities Fritz has in mind! I am reminded of a 1970s National Lampoon cartoon featuring John Wayne's Eternal Punishment in Hell: having make-up applied and his hair endlessly styled by a flaming, horned, hairdresser, whose name -- stenciled on his outfit -- read "Mr. Fritz, of Hell!" I am deadly serious and I remember the cartoon well.

A word to the wise....

I have condemned blogicide repeatedly, and I wish I could prevent it!

Please.

Bad as boredom is, don't take this terrible step into the yawning abyss!

posted by Eric on 02.06.04 at 11:56 PM





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Comments

Having just recovered from three months of blogging boredom, I am glad that I didn't close mine down. However, I did revert from a Large Mammal to an Adorable Little Rodent in the TTLB Ecosystem during my downtime.

Thanks for the mention of Bad Hair Days. I can confirm your recollection about the National Lampoon item featuring John Wayne and Mr. Fritz of Hell. Some of my high school buddies still call me that!

Fritz   ·  February 7, 2004 11:29 AM

WOW!

A visit from "Mr. Fritz of Hell" -- to my humble blog! I am indeed honored.

Your piece was hilarious. And thanks for confirming a remote vestige of my receding memory!

:)

Eric Scheie   ·  February 7, 2004 03:04 PM

Why hasn't Steven Malcolm Anderson commented on this entry yet?

Allan Beatty   ·  February 7, 2004 10:31 PM

Obviously, he was waiting for you to ask him!

(As far as I'm concerned, Steven can comment whenever he wants, as much as he wants, on any subject he wants! He's one of the few people I would almost allow to babysit my blog if I ever managed to take a vacation!!!)

Eric Scheie   ·  February 7, 2004 10:41 PM

Dear Eric and Andrew: Thank you! Problem with me, though, is that I've been commenting entirely too much on other people's blogs and need to get around to babysitting my own again, or else _I_ will be in danger of blogocide!

Steven Malcolm Anderson   ·  February 8, 2004 04:24 PM


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