Prelude to war….in a



Prelude to war….in a world gone mad

Accurate scholarship can Unearth the whole offence From Luther until now That has driven a culture mad,

Find what occurred at Linz, What huge imago (sic) made A psychopathic god: I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn,

Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return.

-- W.H. Auden, September 1, 1939

With a heavy heart, I must once again admit that I was wrong. I jumped the gun -- not in declaring war, but in declaring peace.

"PEACE IN OUR TIME," I said.

Well, now it seems a more appropriate slogan should be

PIECE IN OUR TIME.

With an ominous sense of foreboding, I forced myself to read Frank J. this morning. My heart grew still for a moment, for I realized that the war I had just declared averted is now inevitable. The only positive thing I can say is that this could be the blog war to end all blog wars. Much like World War One, Blog War One seems to have been triggered by series of small, otherwise irrelevant incidents. No one knows or cares much about Archduke Ferdinand (just as people in the real world couldn't care less about the ingredients a man puts in his blender drinks) but such otherwise trivial incidents activate automatic pacts (now posts) which force countries (now bloggers) to line up on one side or the other -- without much regard to national interests.

If you think my analogy about the lining up of alliances is flawed, check this out.

Absolutely chilling.

Even now, I am not at all sure that the good and kindly Professor Reynolds realizes the serious nature of the problem. His link to IMAO no longer goes to that nice young man; it goes to this, this thing.

On top of that, there's this post.

As for Mr. Wizbang, his remark can only be described as, well, ominous: "I'm fortifying my defenses for the expected counter attack."

Not even Andrew Sullivan will be able to escape this war unscathed. Already Frank J. has mentioned ugly rumors about disgusting sexual practices shared by --

GOOD LORD! I CAN'T PUBLISH THIS IN A FAMILY WEB SITE!

Can all of this really be happening?

I feel like sitting down and weeping over the human waste. OH THE HUMANITY! What a terrible shame it would be to launch a long, bloody, costly, divisive war -- a war pitting blogger against blogger, grinding up and destroying valuable men and resources, and to what end? To turn us all into blog fodder?

War!

The horror! The horror!

But if I must defend myself, defend myself I will. I found another test from Hondonius Aurelius, who said (and I quote):

I hope Frank J. would be proud.

Results?

You are old school. Fat Sheriff Deputies fancy you. Reliable but not too practical.
Smith & Wessen .44 Magnum. You are old school. Fat
Sheriff Deputies fancy you. Reliable but not
too practical.


What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You know, I might be "old school" (after all this blog is about Classical Values, notwithstanding my satire), but does this test really have to tell me that "Fat Sheriff Deputies" fancy me?

Yeccch!

But let's get serious. War is a grimly serious business.

Notwithstanding my willingness to defend my home and my castle, I nonetheless feel it is my sacred duty to make one last impassioned plea. Please, please....

STOP THE WAR!

I conclude by quoting from whence I started:

We must love one another or die. Defenseless under the night Our world in stupor lies; Yet, dotted everywhere, Ironic points of light Flash out wherever the Just Exchange their messages: May I, composed like them Of Eros and of dust, Beleaguered by the same Negation and despair, Show an affirming flame.

Further your affiant saith not.

posted by Eric on 07.20.03 at 07:11 PM





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